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smmehedi.emc.peperonity.net

Funny Message Collection

* Funny Messages
:: Funny Messages ::
1.
Can't believe after all the shit
they have been through they're
still together...............................Who?
Your bum cheeks!!
2.
At 1st a little Nibble, Then a slow
Lick & then a sensous Suck
3.
CADBURY'S CREAM EGG! "HOW DO YOU
EAT YOURS"?
4.
Gawd i have found two identical
objects a perfect match! My ARSE
and YOUR FACE
5.
The NCHS Regrets to inform you
that your birth was a mistake,
could you please report to your
local hospital to be put down!
6.
UR 100%beautiful UR 100%lovely UR
100%sweet UR 100%nice and UR
100%stupid to believe these
words!
7.
It goes in dry, it comes out wet,
the longer its in the stronger its
gets. We can have it in bed, just u
& me. ITS NOT WOT U THINK....... its a
cup of tea!
8.
I'm at the Police Station.The police
caught me & filed a case against
me 4 "POSSESSION OF GOOD LOOKS"
I'm doomed! NEED SOMEONE UGLY 2
BAIL ME OUT; So HURRY UP!
9.
ROSES R RED, VIOLETS R BLUE. THE
HIGHER DA SKIRT, THE BETTER THE
VIEW!
10.
Rememba when u need a fuck, i'll
always b here 4 u. Bcoz FUCK =
"FRIENDSHIP U CAN KEEP", so promise
me dat we will fuck 4ever!
11.
I am a killer,I kill people for
money.....But because you are my
friend,I'll kill you for nothing!
12.
There was once a genie who came
and asked "Name ur wish", U asked
"Make me Gorgeous", Genie replied
"I grant wishes not fucking
miracles"
13.
Piss the taking is someone that
realise u that point this at is it.
(Now read it backwards) !
14.
U picked me up,u took me home,u
put ur hands around my waist,u
took off my top,den u put ur lips
om mine. THANK GOD im a bottle of
PEPSI.
15.
R U worried about missing work or
being late, we have a deal 4 U.
Travel with Bin Ladin Airlines & we
will fly U str8 in2 Ur office!
16.
We go up and down, protection is
tight, keepin it up all damn night,
never tired always alert.....
17.
I love my job as a security guard
18.
whats the difference between
divorce and circumcision? with
divorce U get rid of the whole
prick!!
19.
I saw u staring out from da
window..ur eyes..ur face..ur so
adorable..i couldn't resist myself &
started signing...HOW MUCH IS THT
DIGGY IN DA WINDOW...
20.
This sms can only be readed by
someone SEXY:...try
again...again...maybe you are just
not sexy?...one more time...hey
don't force it ugly!!!
21.
I am a killer,I kill people for
money.....But because you are my
friend,I'll kill you for nothing!
22.
little miss drugy sat in a buggy
smoking a pipe of weed along came
a spider
23.
skinned up beside her and sold her
some acid and speed.
24.
Hello I am a virus and I am entering
your brain right now..... sorry I will
leave, I can't find a brain.
25.
Jelly baby goes to the doctors
"doc ive got aids""you cant have
aids ur a jelly baby!".."yeah i
know..But ive been fucking allsorts!
26.
I wanted 2 rite u a letter but all i
cud rite was. . . "3w 6@ys" it didnt
make much sense until u read it
upside down
27.
SOME1 MISSES U NEEDS U WORRIES
ABOUT U WANTS 2B WITH
U ...................................& IT AINT ME U
CUNT!
28.
A G0OD FRIEND, IS LIKE A GO0D BRA....
HARD 2 FIND, C0MF0RTABLE,
SUPP0RTIVE, PREVENTS U FR0M
FALLING,HOLDS U ...
... 30.
The CIA has sent a female assassin
to eliminate Osama Bin Laden-sadly
she mixed up semtex and tampax
and blew up the wrong cunt.
31.
I wanted to send u something nice
that would make u smile but the
postman told me to get out of the
mailbox!
32.
This message was sent exclusively
for the handsome and the
beautiful. We have obviously sent
it to the wrong number.We are
truly sorry for the inconvenience
33.
Ur cute gorgeous fine &
dandy.really sexy u make me
randy.ur good wiv ur mouth & also
in bed ?oops sorry wrong number
4get wot I said!
34.
I saw sumthing in da shop window
2day.It was stunning sexy cute
beautiful & adorable.I was
supposed 2buy it4u till i realised it
was my own REFLECTION
35.
Those innocent eyes... Those
kissable lips... A great smile... The
perfect walk... Smoothest talk...
Absolutely gorgeous.. Thats enough
bout me-How r u?
36.
You?re Attractive Gorgeous Sexy
Intelligent Smart Charming
Sophisticated Fit Kind & Generous.
In fact you?re becoming more like
me everyday!
37.
Uve got sex appeal.uve got
style.uve got intelligence.uve got
class.uve got the face & uve got
the body & ive got the wrong
number!
38.
Ure so sexy u drive me insane.i luv
u so much dat my heart is in
pain.ur sexy voice puts me in a
slumber.oh damn im sorry i have
the wrong number
39.
Im not under d affluence of incohol
as some tinkle peep.Im not half as
thunk as u drink.I fool so feelish
and da drunker i stand here da
longer i get
40.
Last night i wanted to send u a
msg, but all i could write was: "noh
ss!w !". it didn't make much sense
until i read it upside down...
41.
MEN-opause MEN-strual pain MEN-
tal illness GUY-necologist HIS-
terectomy EVER NOTICED HOW
WOMENS PROBLEMS START WITH
MEN??
42.
Pls remind me 2 remind u about
remindin me to send u dis reminder
oh dat reminds me can u remind
me wot the reminder was ive
forgot!
43.
Piss the taking is someone that
realise u this like times at its! NOW
READ IT BACKWARDS!!
44.
Hello!Im a little alien called Ted.I
have taken the form of a mobile
phone- your phone.And during this
message I have been having sex
with your thumb!
45.
This cat is cat a cat good cat way
cat to cat keep cat a cat idiot cat
buzy cat for cat 20 cat seconds
cat! NOW READ IT WITHOUT SAYIN
CAT!
46.
A)Ur Attractive B)Ur Buff C)Ur
Charmin D)Ur Delicious E)Ur Excitin
F)Ur Funny G)Ur Gorgeous H)Ur
Heavenly I)Im J)Just K)Kiddin L)
Loser!
47.
HOW TO KEEP AN IDIOT ENTERTAINED
*press down* HOW TO KEEP AN
IDIOT ENTERTAINED *press up*
48.
Wot letters r missin in H__RT? EA
or U? Pick EA & u get a heart!if u
pick U,u will get hurt! I'd pick U coz
it's better to get hurt than have
a heart without U!
49.
if u notice this notice you will
notice that this notice is not
worth noticing!!!
50.
I have the "I".I have the "L".I have
the "O".I have the "V".I have the
"E"... so pls
51.
if ur askin if id hurt u da ansa is
nevaif ur askin if i luv u da ansa is
4eva.if ur askin if i want u da ansa
is i do.if ur askin wot i value most
da ansa is u
52.
If luvs a disease den im very ill.but
i dont want medicine i wont take
no pill.i will suffer dis illness cos it
makes me see exactly how much u
mean 2 me!
53.
If i were a tear in ur eye i wood
roll down onto ur lips.But if u were
a tear in my eye i wood never cry
as i wood be afraid 2 lose u!
54.
If Love & ...
...Friendship could be brought or
sold as if they were Stocks &
Shares.those wise enough to
invest in you SEXY would all be
millionaires!!!
55.
If water was a kiss id send u the
sea.if a hug was 1 leaf id send u a
tree if luv were forever id send u
eternity!
56.
If i rote ur name in d sky wind
wood blow it away.if i rote ur
name in d sea waves wood wash it
away.But ur name is engravd in my
heart where nothin can touch it!
57.
if u love me like u told me please
be careful wiv my heart- u can
take it jus dont break it or my
world will fall appart
58.
If a kiss was a raindrop i'd send u
showers.if a hug was a second i'd
send u hours.if a smile was water
i'd send u a sea.if love was a
person i'd send u me!
59.
Im @ the police station now been
done 4 drink driving. Urine sample
was positive so I nicked the
sample, they r now doin me 4
taking the piss.
60.
A train is bout 2 crash! A frantic
virgin strips off & says can any1
make me feel like a woman b4 i
die? So a man takes off his clothes
& says iron these!
61.
What's the definition of a will? (It's
a dead giveaway).
62.
If your right leg was thanksgiving
and Your left leg was Christmas
could I meet U between the
holidays?
63.
3 sisters. ann, jan & fanny all have
big feet, ann & jan go on a date,
1 of the boys says "jesus u have
big feet "ann replys "u should see
our fannys theyre huge!
64.
He came 2 me 1 nite...explored my
body...licked-sucked-swallowed &
had his fill...wen satisfied he left...I
was hurt... F***IN MOSQUITO
65.
Roses are red, Pickles are green, I
love your legs & whats in
between!
66.
Last nite i wantd u. needed u so
badly dat it hurt. wantd 2 taste u.
i wantd u in me so u could work ur
magic on me...but i couldnt find u. u
stupid..PARACETAMO
67.
NEWSFLASH...scientists have made a
breakthrough & discovered that
the female gender carry intelligent
cells. Unfortunately 95% of them
spit it out!
68.
chicken and egg in bed, chicken
has head on pillow smoking.
69.
Egg rolls over pissed off saying "i
guess we answered that question"
70.
I'm a bit shy...I'd like to have sex
with you, you do not have to say
yes, just smile to me!
71.
I think I have BSE on my penis ......
all women who experienced it go
crazy !
72.
Eva stood in the river washing her
cunt when God comes running to
her and shouts: EVA EVA STOP, I
WON'T GET THE SMELL OF THE FISH.
73.
Do you know why a waterbed
needs to be filled with
seawater?...For the mussels need
to be able to open.
74.
Screw calmly and without worries,
if you do not come today, it may
happen tomorrow !
75.
Women are like little children, they
put everything they see in their
mouth.
76.
The boy puts his information in her
communication and together they
make population!
77.
What is the resemblance between
a windscreen wiper and a
...
Next part ►


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