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03.03.2012 07:23 EST
Dear Signore Direttore, Now I am a-tella you a story wot I was a-treated at your hotella. I am a-comma from Roma as tourist to London an stay as a- younga cristan man at your hotella. When I comma in my room I see there is no shit in my bed - how can I sleep whit no shit i my bed? So I calla down to the receptione and tella: "I wanta shit". They tella me: "Go to toilet". I say: "No,no I wanta shit in my bed". They say: "You better not shit in your bed, you sonna-wa-bitch". What is sonna-wa-bitch? I go down for breakfast into restorante. I order bacon and egga and two pissis of toast. I getta only one piss of toast. I tella waitress, and point at toast: "I wanta piss". She tella me: "Go to toilet". I say: "I wata piss on my plate". She then say to me: "You'd bloody not piss on the plate, you sonna-wa-bitch". That is the second person who do not even know me calla me "sonna-wa-bitch", an why is your staff replying "Go to toilet", is that a modern tella? I do no understand, Please tella me! Later I go for dinner in your restorante. Spoon and knife is laid out, but no fock. I tella waitress: "I wanta fock". And she tella me: "Sure, everyone wanta fock". I say: "No,no you dont understanda me, I wanta fock on the table". She tella me: So you sonna-wa-bitch wanta fock on the table? Get your ass out of here! How comma this cristian hotel tella the guest in such bad manner? So I go to receptioneand ask for bill, I no wanta stay in this hotel no more. When I have paid the a-billa the portier say to me: "Thank you and piss on you". I say: "Piss on you too, you sonna- wa-bitch, I go back to Italy". Direttore, I never gonna stay in your hotella no more, you sonna-wa-bitch. Sincerely Dicci Elgre

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