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How to Tell Your Boyfriend You Want to Have SexWow, that last make out session washot!Bythe time you got home, all you could think about was how you wanted to jump his bones next time you saw him. The

18.11.2014 14:49 EST
Steps1Understand your relationship.Consider whether you have been in a one-on-one relationship long enough to get to really know each other, and how you two feel about sex.*.Do you honestly care for and about each other?Do youlove him? If you feel the pangs of love (or lust) for each other, it is normal that you may feel like taking the next step and enter intoan intimate relationship.*.Though it’s by no means necessary that two people love each other or be soul mates in order to have sex, bringing sex into the picture can completely changeyour existing dynamic. Sex is something you should seriously consider before you head down that path.*.Analyze your motives for having sex. Strip away everything your peers, your favorite celebrities,the media, or evenyour own boyfriend have told you about having sex and askyourself whatyourpersonal standards are. Do not bow to outside or peer pressure; sex is an act of mutual desire, not something you “allow” another person to do to you.Making sure you’re ready to have sexwill makethe process not only more enjoyable, but alsomore fulfilling.2Decide what kinds of sexual behavior you are ready to explore.The word "sex" covers a lot of territory. Are you interested in sexual intercourse? Oral sex? Mutual masturbation? Determine your boundaries in advance so that, when you do broach the subject with yourboyfriend, you can make sure you’re both on the same page.*.Generally, when you tell somebody you are ready to have sex, this means intercourse.If you want something less than that, be very sure you convey this message before you get started.3Determine whether your boyfriend is ready tohave sex.Though the stereotype would have us believe that guys arealwaysready and willing, it may be that your boyfriend needs more time.*.If you inform him that you want to have sex and showno consideration for his feelings on the subject, it might put him in a position where he feels like he has tohave sex with you to be “manly.”*.It may put him in aposition where he feels he can't stay in the relationship.Note: this could happen before or even immediately after you have sex.*.If you feel confident that yourboyfriend wants tohave sex, it will make talking to him about it much easier and more comfortable.*.Become more intimate in non-sexual ways. This will help you see how he responds to increased intimacy.*.Read his body language. Does heseem comfortable, interested, and eager for more when you are intimate?*.Bring up sex in general. Instead ofjumping right into the topic of sexbetween the two ofyou, discuss how you feel about it, what you both findsexually appealing, etc. This will probably feel really awkward at first, but then again, if you aren’t both ready to talk aboutsex, you probably aren’t ready to have it, either.4Bring up the subject when you two are together in aprivate setting.Setting the mood with a romantic view, soft lighting, ora gloriousmakeout sessionmight make the topic easier and more natural to broach.*.Wait until the timeis right. If he's having dinner at your house, and you lean over and whisper in his ear that you want to have sex just as your mom asks him to pass the mashed potatoes, he's liable to lose control and burst out with somethingembarrassing for all, such as"You want to have sex right now?"Awkward!*.Wait until you're alone together, sharing some personal time. It may or may not bein the middle of a romantic lip lock—it could be over a quiet dinner or walk. Simply tell him what you want. You could be subtle, and say"Honey, I'm ready to take our relationship to the next level," or you could be bold and say "Babe, I want you to make love to me." The natureof your relationship will help you frame your words.*.If trying to start a conversation aboutthe fact that you want to have sex feels too blunt, try one of the following methods instead:*.Ask him ifhewantsto have sex. This isa good way to not only make it clear that you do, but also determine once and for all whether or not he does. Again, remember that “sex” is a huge term; if he says yes, you will have to establish which kind you had in mind.*.Don't be too coy at this point. Say, for example, “Babe, I would really like todo it with you. Would you like that?" It's subtle enough not to put him on the spot, but direct enough to make it clear what you want. If he would prefer something different, keep suggesting things that are acceptable to you until you both agree on something.*.Is subtle too indecisive for you? Ask for whatever form of sex you want. For example,“Would you go down on me?” or “Would you like to have sex?” are pretty direct. Sincethis will put him on the spot, it’s best to use this method only if youare completely confident that yourboyfriend also wants to have sex.*.Physically show him what you want. If you can’t bring yourself to say what’s on your mind, guide his or your hands or body into position.Again, this methodis best if you’re confident that he’s on the same page as you.Tips*.Make sure that you and your partner are not only physically ready, but also mentally ready to take this huge step in your relationship.*.Never push your partner into having sex. Let him decide when he is ready, because if you do it too soon he might take it the wrong way.*.If it's your first time,relax. This is meant to be fun, not stressful. If it doesn't work out thefirst time, you can always try again.*.Make sure you know how touse a condomin advance.Never take it for granted that your partner will be informed about contraception or STD-prevention.*.Keep calm when you talk to him about it, you have to show him you're calm so he stays calm as well.*.Be sure to offer eye contact but don't stare.*.If you just want to give signals, put your hand on his thigh. Slowly move the hand up his thigh throughout your conversation.*.Even if you are stressing on the inside, try not to let it show on the outside. It will makeyou and your partner awkward or uncomfortable.*.Don't worry if you don't know exactly what to do. You can always playfully ask your partner what they would like you to do (knowing your limits that you decided upon in advance).*.Don't act fast! Go slow and see if he wants to do it too. Ifhe shows signs of sexual activity then pick up the pace. If he looks like he's not interested, try another time! No harm, no foul!*.Say to him how would you feel about having sex with me?AddWarnings*.If your partner asks you to stop, don't keep going. Stop so they know that they can trust you, and hopefully they'll be comfortable with it at a later time.*.Don't force the issue. Being too pushy can be rude and gives the impression that youwant sex no matter what. If the other person isn't interested, don't push the topic.*.If you are under 18,make sure it's legal for the two of you tohave sex in your state/country, as laws vary: in Canada, it is legal tohave sex at 16[1]; inthe UK, the legal age is 16; in the US the "age of consent"is usually higher. The last thing you want is for you or your boyfriend to get charged with statutory rape if someone else finds out what the two of you have done.

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