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03.02.2006 16:07 EST
These days I simply try to retrieve the sense of living on. I emerged from Russia with empty soul and no reasonable prospects to take care of. Somehow, a few by words by Alla revived some hope. Nevertheless, until she comes here again just to be with me for a couple of days, best of all it would be if it were my birthday, there is simply nothing to strive for. I am enslaved to this love and see no way out. She supported me all the way through this integration into the German lifestyle. From the very 1st day on. We communicate with each other. In any case, she relies on me for advice, turns to me for support. I have nothing more left to do but only pray to Hashem that she be with me.

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