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♥`°(¯`°•.Funny SMS Collection.•°´¯)°´´♥

Dil ki aag ko ansuo se bujha dena,
Ayegi kisi ki yad to hans k bhula dena.
Hamse achha koi dost mile to,

Saale ko laat maar ke bhaga dena.

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Sir- Smajh tuje 10 laddu diye.
Boy- Muje?
Sir- Samajh na tere baap ka kya jata hai.
Usse mein se 5 muje diye to tere paas kitne bache.
Boy- 20
Sir- Kaise
Boy- Samajh na tere baap ka kya jata hai.

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Twinkle Twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far.

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The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass and flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful
Why doesn't it rain on you?

--------------------------------------------------

Roses are red, Violets are blue
Monkeys like u should be kept in zoo.
Don't feel so angry you will find me there too
Not in cage but laughing at you.

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Hum dua karte hain khuda se, Ki wo aap jaisa dost aur na banaye, Ek CARTOON jaisi cheez hai humare paas, Kahin wo bhi common na ho jaye
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dil mein basi hai yaad teri, aankhon mein basi hai tasweer teri , jab bhi aati hai yaad teri , dekh lete hai TOM and JERRY
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When I call u,
1 ring means i'm thinkin of u,
2 rings means i like u,
3 rings means i'm missing u,
4 rings means i need u,
5 rings mean.. BEHRE PHONE UTTHA!
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Sardarji: Nurse, I am very eager to know my blood group.
Nurse: B positive
Sardarji: please tell me soon ....
Nurse: B positive
Sardarji: Madam, I am positive, but I'm eager to know my blood group
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A MAN 1 : Is HARBHAJAN Singh male or female ?
A NAN 2 : Female.
A MAN 1 : How ?
A NAN 2 : Just now commentator told "A wonderful delivery by HARBHAJAN
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Ravan was sent to court & was asked to keep a hand on GEETA.
He Refused saying: "SITA par haath rakha toh itni musibat aayi !! ab GEETA pe hath nahi rakhunga

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Ek khwab, ek khayal, ek hakikat ho tum,
Dosti me padnewali har jarurat ho tum,
Jisko roj ek sms karna pade,
Kya yar ajib musibat ho tum....
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Kya leker aye the..?
Kya leker jaoge..?
Mujhe sms nahi kar ke kitne paise bachaoge?
Itne paise bachaker kya....
SAWARG mein bangla banaoge?
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Khuvabo me aayenge hum sms ki trah.
Dil me bus jayege hum rington ki trah.
Pyar hamara kbhi kum na hoga balanc ki trah.
Par tum busy na rhna network ki trah.
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Teri yaad dil se jaane nahi denge,
Tere jaisa dost khone nahi denge,
Sharaafat se contact mein rehna,
varna kaan ke neeche denge aur rone bhi nahi denge
--------------------------------------------------
Pyar karne ka andaaz ana chahiye,
yaad karne ke liye mithi yaad Ani chahiye,
Aap roz call karo ya na karo,
apka pyara sa SmS roz ana chahiye
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Pujari, Bhagwan Ganesh se: " Bhagwan mujhe ek CAR de do"

Bhagwan ganesh: (thappar marte huye) "Kambakhat mere paas khud chuha hai aur tujhe CAR chahiye"....
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Ek yug tha jab log ghar ke dewar par likhte the: ATITHI DEVO BHAWA, phir likhe: SHUBH LABH, phir likha : YOU ARE WELCOME

Ab likhte hai: KUTTON SE SAVDHAN
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Kanjoosi ka jab OSCAR diya jayega , aapka number pehle aayega. Koi SMS galti se bhi mat karna , warna OSCAR kisi aur ko mil jayega...
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"CELLO" - The pen of India
"LUX" - The soap of India
"AMUL"- The taste of India

"YOU" - The waste of India
"SENDER" - The BEST of India
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Patni(gusse mein) : " Tumhare dimaag mein to sirf gobar hi bhara hai"...!!
Pati (shanti se): "To phir itni der se ise kha kyon rahe ho "...!!
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HEIGHT OF CHALLENGE-

In exam a student left blank answer sheet,
But ,on the last page he wrote...
"AGAR MAA KA DOODH PIYA HAI TOH
MUJHE PASS KARKE DIKHA "
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Pani me tairna machali ka style,
Hawa me udna panchi ka style,
Different messages bhejna mera style,
Fukat ka message padna apka style
--------------------------------------------------
Mandir main Jaap karta hu,
Man main prabhu ka nam leta hu,
Kahin Insan se Khuda na ban jaun,
isliye tumhe SMS karke
roz ek Paap karta hu
--------------------------------------------------
Chand ko gurur hai ki uske paas noor hai.
To kya mujhe bhi gurur hai ki mere pass bhi
SMS padhnewala langoor hai
--------------------------------------------------
SARDAR talking on cell.
2ND SARDAR: kis se baat kar raho ho.
1ST: biwi se.....
2! ND: itne... pyar se....?
1ST: tumhari hai. . .
--------------------------------------------------
Gal: Is dress ka kya price hai?
Shopkeeper: Sirf 5 kiss.
Girl: Aur us dress ka?
Shopkeeper: 10 kiss.
Girl: Dono dress pack kar do, bill dadi dengi
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Manmohan Singh: We are sending Indians to the moon next year!
Bush: Wow! Howc many?
Manamohan: 25 OBC, 25 SC, 20 ST, 5 Handicapped, 5 Sports Persons, 5 Terrorist Affected, 5 Kashmiri Migrants, 9 Politicians & if possible 1 Astronnaut
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Agar zindagi me kuch kar dikhana hai to hathi ke uppar ulta khare hokar photo khichva(hath niche pair uppar)aur duniya ko ye photo ulta kar ke dikha.
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Mohabbat 1 bar ho jaye us ko bholapan kehtay hain, 2 bar ho jaye us ko dewaanapan kehtay hain, 3 bar hoo jaye us ko pagalpan kehtay hain, agar phir bhi na rukhay to use kameenapan kehtay hai
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Bhagwan apki umar lambi karey! Bhagwan apko Naukri de! Bhagwan apko Khush rakhe! Bhagwan apko Barkat de! Yaad ho gaya? Chal phir Katora utha aur shooru ho ja
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Sharabi eyes donate karne gaya, Counter Clerk asks: Kuch kehna chahte ho?
Sharabi: Jise lagao usse bata dena ye do peg ke baad khulti hain.
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Khali jagah mein HAA ya NAHI bharo
1:____main insan nahi, Janwar hu.
2:____main hi pagal hu.
3:____mere dimag ka koi ilaj nahi
4:____mujhe pagalkhane hi jana hai.
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