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♥Overcoming jealousy in a relationship♥

Jealousy is a human emotion that
we all instinctively experience at
some point in our lives. Jealousy
can refer to a strong desire for
or envy of someone else ’s
success, stature, or possessions.
Taken in a social context, it can
refer to a perceived threat to a
valued relationship or to its
quality. Jealousy may cause
someone to be doubtful of his or
her partner and feel threatened
by his or her interaction with
certain people. It involves a fear
of losing the other person.
There are different kinds of
jealousy and educating yourself
on them may help you and your
partner develop a stronger
relationship.
Healthy Jealousy
Jealousy doesn’t necessarily
indicate negative connotations in
all cases. After all, it is quite
natural for men and women to
be protective and possessive of
the one that they love. In a
relationship, when feelings of
jealousy are mild and occasional,
it reminds the couple not to take
each other for granted. It can
encourage couples to appreciate
one another and make an effort
to ensure the other person feels
valued.
Having reservations about your
significant other going to a strip
club, the sight of him or her
drooling over an attractive
person of the opposite sex, or
witnessing him or her flirting
with someone else are innocent
examples of how jealousy can be
a perfectly normal reaction.
Destructive Jealousy
Sometimes, jealous feelings can
balloon out of proportion. It is a
completely different story when
jealousy becomes frequent,
intense, and irrational. Once you
reach this stage, you obsessively
begin to question your lover’s
loyalty to you and it sends you
into a blind rage. You may even
try to restrict your partner ’s
interactions with other people
and constantly monitor where he
or she goes and what he or she
does.
If you can’t control your jealousy,
it is bound to be detrimental to
your relationship. It eats away at
the most important thing holding
it together – trust. It can leave
your loved one constantly feeling
like they are walking on
eggshells.
If you find yourself drifting into
the realm of harmful and
unhealthy jealousy, there are
things you can do to prevent it
from ruining your current and
future relationships.
Identify the Root of the
Problem
What is causing this unfounded
jealousy? You may behave this
way because you have been
cheated on in the past. This may
cause you to be more possessive
and controlling in a new
relationship for fear of repetition,
even if he or she has never given
you a reason to be doubtful.
If this is the case, it is important
to deal with these feelings and
insecurities before you enter a
new relationship. Harboring
unresolved feelings from past
relationships is a sure sign that
you aren’t ready for a new one.
Give yourself a Reality Check
Focus on what is really
happening, not what you
perceive to be happening. How
realistic is the threat? What
evidence do you have that your
relationship is in danger?
Distinguish fact from fiction.
If you have no solid grounds for
feeling jealous, your false
accusations will cause a lot of
unnecessary strain on the
relationship. Don ’t let your
imagination draw a negative
picture of your partner.
Positive Self-Talk
Sometimes, you need to give
yourself a pep talk. When you
start feeling those twinges of
jealousy, remind yourself that
your partner loves you and is
committed to you. Realize that he
or she is with you for a reason.
These self-affirmations can help
you boost your confidence.
Seek Reassurance
If you can’t talk yourself out of a
jealous funk, perhaps
communicating your feelings will
help resolve your insecurities.
One of the best ways to beat
jealousy is to ask your partner
for reassurance. Make sure you
don’t take an accusatory,
nagging, or bullying tone with
him or her. Instead, share your
feelings of doubt and ask them
to help you overcome them.
By communicating your feelings,
you can work out solutions
together.
Get an Objective Opinion
Ask a close friend to take note of
your behaviour around your
boyfriend or girlfriend.
Sometimes, you aren ’t fully aware
of your actions, especially when
emotions like jealousy cloud your
judgment. By getting a neutral
party ’s perspective, it can help
you fully understand the extent
of your actions.
A good friend will let you know if
your behaviour is out of control
and destructive.
Set Boundaries from the Start
Try establishing some general
guidelines at the beginning of
the relationship. Let your partner
know what is and isn ’t
acceptable for you. Be careful not
to use this piece of advice as a
means to control your boyfriend
or girlfriend, just let him or her
know what makes you tick.
For example, how far is too far
when it comes to flirting? Telling
your partner what makes you
uncomfortable can also help you
trust him or her more since you
are divulging sensitive feelings.


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