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a.lover-trickz.peperonity.net

♥how to get true love romance?♥

Look at the one right beside
you
It's very common for single
people to spend their time
searching and searching for the
"right person." Zen suggests that
we stop running around and
instead see what is right in front
of our eyes.
Look at a person who is close to
you in your life right now.
Whether this is a friend, a
potential mate or more, notice
the ways in which you push him
away. Stop doing that. Just allow
the two of you to be together in
whatever way you are. Accept
everything about your
relationship as it is.
Do the same thing tomorrow
with someone else. This doesn't
mean that you have to consider
marrying every person who
crosses your path. It's just an
exercise to see how commonly
you might dismiss people who
are already in your world
because you're busy waiting for
the "right one" to appear. But the
more "right" you can be with
everyone, the more you can open
up to the very real possibilities of
the present.
Stop playing around with love
So many singles complain that
they are not loved. The reason
for this can be quite simple. They
are so busy playing games that
potential partners never get to
know who they really are.
What roles or games do you play
in relationships? What roles do
you expect others to assume?
Chances are, you follow a pretty
clear pattern, but the question is:
Are you falling in love with the
person, or with the role that he
plays? If you're not sure about
your roles, turn them around for
a little while. Try playing different
roles. Experiment with someone
who plays roles that you are not
accustomed to. Notice how that
feels.
The goal is to become aware of
the difference between who you
are and the roles you play.
Eventually you'll be able to let the
roles go and simply be who you
are -- which is a Zen-like state of
being. Who you are is always
lovable and beautiful. It's the
roles that get in the way.
Let partners come and go
One major obstacle in living a life
of love is the tendency to hold
on. We grasp and cling to each
other, preventing the freedom of
love from rising on its own. Zen
asks us to let go.
When someone comes into your
life, let him come. Welcome the
person, whoever he is. Enjoy
what it is he brings, even if it's
only for a short time.
When it is time for a person to
go away, let him go. Do not turn
the person's leaving into an
experience of rejection, loss or
abandonment. Realize that his
leaving has nothing to do with
you. It is simply time for him to
go.
Do this with yourself as well. Let
yourself come and go freely in
life, and don't get caught in
unnecessary chains. The more
you free yourself and others, the
more easily you fall in love.
Put your baggage down
Many feel that love is not possible
unless all their demands are met.
However, these same people are
repeatedly amazed when they
find that these demands don't
lead to happiness. Instead, the
demands are just obstacles to
falling in love.
What are your "must haves" for
relationships? If you're not sure,
write out the list and take a good
look at it. Realize that this is
baggage that may be keeping all
kinds of people and possibilities
away. This baggage may also
make you fearful, rigid and
closed off to what is available for
you right now. Zen asks us to
break free of old demands.
Try letting one of these demands
subside for just one day. Notice
how you feel without it.
(Remember, you can always take
it back again.) Then try it another
day. As you do this many times,
you may find that things you
thought were crucial for your life
were really getting in the way.
The more you do this, the more
light and happy you will feel. Plus,
this openness allows all kinds of
new people, possibilities and
situations to start coming your
way. You will have made room
for them by putting your
baggage down.
Give gifts
Giving and receiving are at the
core of every relationship. When
we are in love, this is never a
problem. We naturally give and
are happy with whatever is
offered in return. If you want to
open up to falling in love, adopt
this state of mind and start
giving naturally.
What gifts do you give others in
relationships? What do you hope
to receive in return? Now take a
moment to consider what else
you can give someone. Then give
it. Do this every day. Each day,
give something else. It does not
have to be fancy or expensive --
or even a material object -- just
something that will add to his or
her day. Then do this with all
kinds of different people. Zen is
about doing this kind of thing
quietly without great fanfare and
without expecting something in
return.
Do this with yourself as well.
Take a moment to find out what
kind of gift you would like.
Simple examples are taking a
walk in the park, buying a new
lipstick or spending time with
someone you care for. Now give
yourself a gift each day.
Although this exercise is simple,
it is extremely powerful. Doing
this daily can turn everything
around in your relationships.
When you give, remember not to
look for anything in return (not
even a smile or thank you). Just
give to give, with no
expectations, no demands. By
living with this open, generous
mind, all kinds of other gifts
come to you naturally.
Make friends with yourself
Many people say they are lonely,
even when they have a partner at
their side. This is simply because
they have not yet made friends
with themselves. According to
Zen, once you come to terms
with yourself and appreciate
who you are on a personal level,
it is impossible to be lonely
anymore.
Make friends with yourself.
Spend time noticing who you
are. Accept all parts of yourself.
Stop judging and rejecting what
is going on inside. Be still and
look within.
Start with this exercise. Pay
attention to your breath and just
notice what is going on. Let it be.
Accept it, and return to the
breathing. Understand that,
breath by breath, underneath the
clamor, you are perfect just as
you are. Can you choose to be
this natural self in relationships?
Can you choose to have
relationships with those who
want and appreciate just what
you are? Making positive
changes in your life -- and your
relationships -- can start with
something as simple as taking
off your shoes.


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