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Blonde Jokes

Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

Q: Why do blondes work seven days a week?
A: So you don´t have to retrain them on Monday.

Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave to her.

Q: How do you get a blondes eyes to twinkle?
A: Shine a torch in her ear!

Q: How do you drown a blond?
A: Leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

Q: How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A: She fell out of the tree.
Q: How can you tell if a blonde´s been using the computer?
A: There´s white-out on the screen.

Q: How can you tell if another blonde´s been using the computer?
A: There´s writing on the white-out!

Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?
A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.

Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot has been sighted!

Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A: Change.

Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A: Pregnant.

Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?
A: An interpreter.

What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning?
A: A visitor.


Q: What do you call a smart blond?
A: A golden retriever.

Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run! She´s got a hand grenade in her mouth.

Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn´t wake up the sleeping pills.

Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.

Q: How do you sink a submarine full of blondes?
A: Knock on the door.

Q: What is dumber than a blonde building a fire under the water?
A: Another blonde trying to put it out.

Q: How did the blonde burn her ear?
A: The phone rang while she was ironing.

Q: There are 17 blondes standing outside a disco but why couldn´t they get in?
A: The sign said "must be 18 to enter".

Q: Why are there no brunette jokes?
A: Because blondes would have to think them up.

Q: How do blonde braincells die?
A: Alone.



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