Why is six afraid of seven?

Ans: Because seven ate nine.

Old mathematicians never die,they just lose some of their functions.

Why do they never serve beer at a maths party?

Ans: Because you can not drink and derive formulas.

What did one maths textbook say to the other?

Ans: Do not bother me,I have my own problems.

Why did the maths textbook kill itself?

Ans: Because nobody understood him.

I love mathematics because it scares people.

Mathematics is made up of fifty percent formulas,thirty percent solution and twenty percent proof.

"Students nowadays are so clueless",said a maths professor.A student came to my office and wanted to know if General Calculus was a roman war hero.

Maths tells us three of the saddest love stories;tangent lines who had one chance to meet and then parted forever,parallel line who were never meant to meet,asymptotes who can get closer and closer but will never be together.

Maths is like sex;add the bed,subtract the clothes,divide the leg and pray you do not multiply.

Dear maths,please grow up now and solve your problems yourself.

How do you make seven an even number?

Ans: Take the "S" out.

I used to think maths was useless,but then I realized that decimal had a point.

If I had one day left to live,I would live it in a maths class,because it would seem so much longer.

Teacher: What is the half of eight(8)?

Student: Ma,vertically it is three(3),horizontally it is zero(0).