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=*= JÖKÈ$ =*=

.'*'. .'*'. .'*'. .'*'. .'*'. .'*'.
Here u'll find some jokes & funny stories. Feel free 2 leave urs too!
~ Smile 4 a while ~
Father, helping son with arithmetic: "If A makes £25 and B spends £35...; ask your mother to help you - it's right up her street!"
18.02.2007 05:35 EST,
Man teaching wife to drive: "Go on green, stop on red, slow down when I turn white."
18.02.2007 04:40 EST,
A chap took a friend for a spin in his new and expensive sports car. "What makes it hold the road so firmly?" asked the friend.
"The heavy instalments," replied the driver.
11.02.2007 05:33 EST,
Halfway down a steep winding hill, we stopped our car to ask an old woman at her gate if the hill was dangerous. "Not here it isn't," she told us. "It's down at the bottom where they all kills theirselves."
11.02.2007 05:30 EST,
From a letter to Lever Brothers: "Dear Sirs, you advertise with the claim IF IT'S SAFE IN WATER IT'S SAFE IN LUX. Now, about my goldfish..."
08.02.2007 14:48 EST,
The new man in the office was given some fatherly advice by his superior: "I don't mind your following in my footsteps - but please wait till I get out of them.
08.02.2007 14:42 EST,
A young woman came to me to have an impacted wisdom tooth removed. It all went smoothly: the local anaesthetic was effective, the extraction quick and efficient, the patient relaxed, soothed by the background music in my modern surgery. Then suddenly I noticed tears in the patient's eyes. "Are you in pain?" I asked, puzzled and concerned. "Oh, no." she said. "It's that tune. It always makes me cry!"
06.02.2007 13:42 EST,
A local farmworker who is justifiably proud of his abundance of curly black hair wears it very long. One day his barber teased him: "If I cut off those sideburns of yours, I'll bet nobody would recognize you." "Could be", mused the young man, then added quickly, "and I bet nobody would recognize you either."
06.02.2007 13:35 EST,
A small boy debunked the talk about a painless dentist in his neighbourhood. " He's not painless at all," said the youngster. "He put his finger in my mouth and I bit it, and he yelled just like anyone else."
03.02.2007 14:29 EST,
A young man came home from a date with a secretary who was working at the United Nations. "Never again!" he said. " I like a girl who says 'yes' or 'no'. This one just abstains."
03.02.2007 14:25 EST,
Patient to doctor examining him: "And another thing I noticed, doctor - I'm tired and irritable after spending a solid hour in that waiting-room of yours.
14.01.2007 08:18 EST,
A waiter in a famous restaurant took his son to the zoo & saw an attendant throw a big slab of meat into the lion's cage & walk away. "Daddy," said the boy, "why did he throw the food instead of serving it nicely, the way you do?" "Confidentially," replied the waiter, "lions are rotten tippers."
14.01.2007 08:13 EST,
An invitation to join a local fencing club reads: "Join us now. New blood always welcome."
30.12.2006 10:22 EST,

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