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The day began with expectation

mixed with trepidation,

for although I was approaching another due date for my rent and God had done nothing re provision of the earlier one, I still expected Him to come through, with if not, the rent money, a job, which I could at least use to convince my landlady Sharon that her money would be forthcoming.
Sometimes I think it's the early influences of the Oral Roberts Ministry and his "Expect a Miracle" that has long shaped my own personal theology of expectancy, but it's more than that; it's also the words of the Bible and especially Jesus, but if we judge them by human expectancy they don't ring true.
Jesus didn't come back "soon"; God does not act on our behalf more speedily or beneficially than our earth fathers and is not as quick as the evil judge - of Jesus' parable - is to respond to persistent petitions.
The problem I think, involves 2 things: God's concept of time, which I think has nothing to do with our concept. A thousand years is as but a day to Him, the scriptures say.
Secondly, I think, we do not know how to pray, and if you study the Bible, you will see, it says that often. It is hard to reach God, which is why Job desired, and we have, a Mediator, and more, we have and need, the Holy Spirit to make intercession for us.
But think about it, Jesus fasted for 4
days, and went up into the mountains and sweated blood (and some people dare deny the Trinity and say the Father became the Son and then no longer existed and heaven was empty of God and Jesus was praying to Himself as an example to us. If His prayer was an example we haven't done well to follow Him!)
The little - or even long - prayers we mutter or ramble off and on, don't compare to Jesus 40 days of hunger in the wilderness, the hours in the hills, the sweat dropping like blood, and He was the SON of God! He had easier access to His Father than us; for, in fact, He is our mediator.
And God never asquiesced [?] to His - Jesus' - request or will! Although Jesus was quite willing to accept the scourges and stripes, crown of thorn, cross and crucifixion, for our behalf though we were not even born and continue to ignore the salvation He so sacrificially provided us!
Would you have made someone hammer nails into your hands [or wrists], and feet, and braved death for countless, ungrateful generations? I wouldn't. I would be hiding from the jews, the Romans and God in Galilee. Running for my life like Elijah from Jezebel, David from King Saul, denying myself, like Peter denied Him. "Jesus of Nazareth? Who me? I am not Him. No. Never even met him."
Yet Jesus didn't although we don't deserve it and are unable and unwilling to follow His example, clinging vainly to our material possessions, earthly ambitions and brief, passing lives - a wink in the eye of God.
Yet it's only the deepest of distress that produces true prayer, and the heights of ecstacy, true thanksgiving and praise. And it's not us of ourselves that produces this praise or prayer, but the Holy Spirit connecting to our spirit and making intercession on our behalf.
Have you ever cried out, "Help me Lord!" but never actually planned to say it, but needed to, almost overhearing yourself, like another self, uttering the words, or conversely, "Love you Lord!" [*] It's the Holy Spirit. And it's true we need God's help and we need to love Him too.
Unfortunately, I think, in regard to our petitions, prayers and supplication, the Holy Spirit who makes intercession for us, only reacts to our spirit's needs, or joys, and not our physical needs, until the physique begins to affect the psyche, ie., the mind and the soul, the mind of the soul, our spirits.
If this is so, why pray then, unless we are going fast - 40 days? - until our lives which is fleeting anyway and is truly our spirits anyway begin to ebb from our body up to its source, our Source, the Source and Giver of Life, and then maybe God will hear us as we die, but the Holy Spirit will intercede for us before that happens, and God will come to rescue us and send His angels - unseen - to minister unto us.
[On an unrelated point I must add, and warn, that all fasting attracts Satan, his demons, devilish distractions, and temptations; the more extreme the fasting, the more extreme the temptation. I don't know why; yet. Nor if demons gather with angels at our deathbed. But I know not even the Son of God was exempt! How brazen Satan was and probably still is!]
If as the Bible and Jesus says, that God knows our needs and desires even before we ask, then why ask? Even though Jesus and the Bible encourages us to, why should we pray? The Holy Spirit will intercede on our behalf when our spirits are distressed and in need, "with groanings that cannot be uttered" and "we know not what we should pray for as we ought [Rom.8:26]" and God will come to our rescue in the nick of time, which is the only concept of time that God shares with man: Justin Time!

[As I wrote this, the Holy Spirit impressed upon me and wanted me to explain that why Jesus, although the Son of God, and thereby God, had to fast, and pray, more earnestly than we can or do, because he was preparing his humanity, his manhood rather than Godhead, for a sacrifice no man before, or after, had, could or would be able or willing to do and that only He alone, "the Lamb found worthy" could do!]

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