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Latest Jokes From Baz

A little boy on the way to school one day saw a drunk playing with himself in an alley. The boy asked what he was doing. The drunk said ´playing with my birdie, playing with my birdie´ He then passed out. When he came to he was in the hospital, in pain around his groin area. He asked the Dr what happened, the Dr brought in the little boy and told him to answer the man. The boy said ´after you went to sleep mister, I played with your birdie and he spit at me so I broke his neck, cracked his eggs and set his nest on fire´...

Nasty women jokes

Why do only 10 percent of men make it to heaven?
Because if they all went, it would be called hell.

How are husbands like lawn mowers?
They´re hard to get started, they emit noxious fumes, and half the time they don´t work.

How can you tell when a man is well hung?
When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.

How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?
Make him wear shoes.

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One. He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three. One to screw in the bulb and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.

How many men does it take to tile a bathroom?
Two - if you slice them very thinly.

Why can´t men get mad cow disease?
Because they are pigs.

What do you call a handcuffed man?

What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn´t hold the pillow down long enough.

How does a man show he´s planning for the future?
He buys an extra case of beer.

What do you call the useless piece of skin on a penis?
The man.

Why do men have a hole in their penis?
So their brains can get some oxygen now and then.

Why do men name their penises?
Because they don´t like the idea of having a stranger make 90 percent of their decisions.

Why does it take 100 million...

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