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Snappy Answers

Snappy Answer #1

A stewardess was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for
the ticket, and he opened his coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat she said, ´Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.´

Snappy Answer #2

A lady was picking through the frozen chickens at the supermarket, but couldn´t find one big enough for her family. She asked the shelf stacker,
´Do these chickens get any bigger?´ He replied, ´No, they´re dead.´

Snappy Answer #3

The policeman got out of his car and the lad who was
stopped for speeding rolled down his window. ´I´ve been waiting for you all day,´ the Policeman said. The lad replied, ´Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.´

When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the lad on his way without a ticket.

Snappy Answer #4

A lorry driver was driving along. A sign comes up that
reads ´Low bridge ahead.´ Before he knows it the bridge is
right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The policeman gets out of his car and walks around to the lorry driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, ´Got stuck?´ The lorry driver says, ´No mate, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol.´

and finally #5, THE TEACHER Snappy Answer OF THE YEAR

A university lecturer reminds her students of tomorrow´s
final exam. ´Now, I won´t tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal
injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family but that´s it, no other
excuses whatsoever!´

A smart-arse bloke in the back of the room raised his hand and asks, ´What would you say if tomorrow I said I was
suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?´ The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter.

When silence is restored, the lecturer smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, ´Well, I
suppose you´d have to write the exam with your other hand.´

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