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Money´s short
Times are Hard
Here´s your Fucking
Christmas Card

Twas the night before Christmas
and all through the house
Everybody felt shitty
including the mouse

Mom at the whorehouse
And Dad smoking grass
I´d just settled down
For a nice piece of ass

When out on the lawn
I heard such a clatter
I sprung from my piece
To see what’s the matter

And out on the lawn
I saw a big dick
I knew in a moment
It must be St Nick

He came down the chimney
Like a bat out of hell
I knew right away
The fucker had fell

He filled our stockings
With pretzels and beer
And a big rubber dick
For my brother the queer

He rose up the chimney
With a thunderous fart
The son of a bitch
Blew the chimney apart

He swore and he cursed
As he rode our of sight
´Piss on you all
and have a hell of a night´.

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