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Gnome was peddalin down tichfield street his wheels going roon an roon, his helmet had go faster stripes he sped down through the toon

he was heading for the forum their tablet was his aim but his mission for caz was never goin to leave him quite the same

his route was blocked their door was locked a mortice and a chain so he pedalled all the faster then he felt a sudden pain

he smashed through all the woodwork, he buckled his wee bumper and a splinter from the counter ripped through his college jumper

his car went bump wi a sudden stop he went flying through the air, the raspberry sauce and mint choc chip fair messed up gnomeys hair

the display went smash he feared the worst and then he felt much safer when he woke and found himself amongst a pile of broken wafer

his mission done he grabbed his loot and packed his wee boot fu’ then he rang up susan corrigan and asked her what to do

she said gnomey come and get me, I’ll pack myself some nix then we’ll take the road to welsh wales, its just down the M6

we were toddling down the fast lane with a car stuffed full of treats ignoring all the sirens and eddie stobbart tweets everyone was out to get us but like thelma and louise we really didn’t give a fart we toodled as we pleased

and then we reached the border…. The polis stopped our sweetie ride they uncovered all the tablet and things we’d stuffed inside what is it said jones the sergeant baa said jones the sheep We knew then we wouldn’t get it back we knew our sweets they’d keep

so Caz this is our story, that’s where your tablet went, the polis really are the same from pontypridd to gwent, suz will send a postal order to make up for your loss and you can get yourself to barry and get stuffed on candy floss

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