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mumtaz - Woman Indian
born2love.peperonity.net

Naughty Jokes

MICHAEL JACKSON & DOCTOR WALK OUT AFTER HIS WIFE DELIVERED A SON.. MICHAEL: "AFTER HOW MUCH TIME CAN WE HAVE SEX?" DOCTOR: "AT LEAST WAIT TILL HE IS 13.."

A GUY FINGERING HIS GIRLFRIEND! SHE SAYS: "WOULD YOU TAKE OFF YOUR RING? IT'S HURTING ME!!" HE SAYS: "THAT'S NOT MY RING, IT'S MY WRISTWATCH..!!"

EK AADMI EK PROSTITUTE KO RS.1000 DETA HAI!! WO BHAG JATI HAI, AADMI AKHBAAR ME AD. DETA HAI: EK LADKI, UMR 18, HEIGHT 5'3 JAHA KAHI DIKHE KAR LO, PREPAID HAI..!!

WHEN A CHHOTA MUNNA WAS BEATEN BY HIS TEACHER, HE RETURNED HOME & LOOKED AT HIS HIPS IN THE MIRROR & SAID "MAAR MAAR KE SAALE NE DO TUKDE KAR DIYE..!!"

HUSBAND: "KAAHE ROOTHI HO? TUM TO HAMAR CHAAND HO" WIFE: "HUM KA CHAAND NA BULAAO" HUSBAND: "KAAHE" WIFE: "SASURE AMRIKA WALE BAAR BAAR CHAAND PE CHAD JAAT HAI"

PATIENT: "DR. SAHEB EK PROBLEM HAI, MAI JAB BHI AAINA DEKHTA HOON MERA KHADA HO JATA HAI" DOCTOR: "YE BIMARI NAHI HAI, TERI SHAKAL HI BHOSDE JAISI HAI..!!"

LOVE IS NOT MEASURED BY HUGGING, KISSING & SEX.. IT IS ALL ABOUT TRUSTING, RESPECTING & ACCEPTING A PERSON WITH OPEN LEGS, CLOSED EYES, WET LIPS, SAYING: "PUSH IT MORE.."

A WOMAN TO HER HUSBAND AFTER SEX: "DARLING TUM ITNI JALDI THAK KYU JATE HO?" MAN: "JAANEMAN, SADAK KA KYA BIGADTA HAI, GHEESTE TO TYRE HAI.."

MAN ON WIFE'S BIRTHDAY: "YOU CAN HAVE SEX FOR 1 HOUR THE WAY YOU WANT IT" WIFE JUMPED UP, KISSED HIM & RAN OUT SAYING: "WILL BE BACK AFTER 1 HOUR.."

TEACHER: "PYAR AUR ISHQ ME KYA FARK HAI" STUDENT: "PYAR WO HAI JO AAP APNI BETI SE KARTE HAI, AUR ISHQ WO HAI JO HUM AAPKI BETI SE KARTE HAI.."

LADKI: "TUM APNA MOBILE PANT KI JEB ME KYU RAKHTE HO?" LADKA: "KYUNKI WAHA RAKHNE SE NETWORK ACHHA PAKADTA HAI" LADKI: "WO KAISE?" LADKA: "TOWER NAZDIK HAI NA!!"

WIFE: "PEECHHE NAHI AAGE DAALTE HAI" SANTA: "TUMHE KAISE PATA?" WIFE: "MERA EK DOST THA, USNE AAGE DAALA THA" SANTA: "CHUP MERE DOST NE MERE PEECHHE DAALA THA"

MOM: "TUJHE LADKA PASAND AAYA HO TO HUM BAAT AAGE CHALAYE" LADKI: "LADKA TO THEEK HAI MAGAR BAHOT MOTA HAI" MOM: "T.V CHAHE 14' INCH KA HO YA 29' INCH KA REMOTE 6 INCH KA HI HOTA HAI"

TEACHER: "WHAT'S YOUR NAME?" BOY: "JI HOLA" TEACHER: "YEH KYA NAAM HUA" BOY: "JI MAI HOLI KE DIN PAIDA HUA THA" TEACHER: "THANK GOD TUM LOHRI KE DIN PAIDA NAHI HUE"

SANTA: AAJ TO GHAR PAHOCHTE HI MAI WIFE KI PANTY UTAAR DUNGA.. BANTA: KYUN..? SANTA: ARE YAAR USKA ELASTIC BAHOT HI TIGHT HO RAHA HAI MUJHE..

IF THE MINI SKIRT GETS FURTHER SHORTER, WOMEN WILL HAVE TWO MORE LIPS TO PAINT, TWO MORE CHEEKS TO POWDER & A LITTLE MORE HAIR TO COMB..

WIFE: AAJ UPVAAS HAI KAISE RAHOGE? HUSBAND WITH A GOOD LOOK AT HER BREAST: DOODH PAR, AUR TUM? WIFE: MAIN KELE PAR REH LOONGI..

A BOY WAS HURRIEDLY MAKING SEX WITH A GIRL.. SHE ASKED: WHY ARE YOU IN HURRY? BOY: I THINK YOUR BOYFRIEND WILL COME.. GIRL: YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY, HE IS BUSY IN READING SMS..

LADKI KE BAAP NE VIDAAI KE WAQT DULHE SE KAHA: "BETA, HUMARI IZZAT AB TUMHARE HAATH MEIN HAI" DULHA: "CHINTA MAT KARO, AAJ HI LOOT LUNGA..

1st SARDAR: LAHORE IS THE BEST CITY.. ALL FREE PICK UP, DROP, FOOD, DRINK, HOTEL, EVEN SEX.. 2nd SARDAR: WHEN DID YOU GO? 1st SARDAR: NOT ME, MY WIFE WENT & TOLD ME..

KID: WHAT'S SEX? MOM GET TENSE BUT TELLS HIM ALL ABOUT IT.. KID TAKES OUT A SCHOOL FORM & SAYS: HOW DO I WRITE ALL THAT IN THIS SMALL BOX!!

LADKI KE T-SHIRT PE PLANE KI PHOTO LAGI THI, EK LADKA USE GHOOR RAHA THA, LADKI: KABHI PLANE NAHI DEKHA? LADKA: PLANE TO DEKHA HAI, AISA AIRPORT NAHI DEKHA..

ONE GIRL WAS WEARING VERY SHORT DRESS, SOMEONE COMMENTED: "WHAT WOULD YOUR MOM SAY IF SHE SPOTS IN SUCH DRESS?" GIRL REPLIED: SHE WILL DEFINITELY GET ANGRY SINCE I AM WEARING HER DRESS!"

A WOMAN GAVE BIRTH TO SIX BABIES & ON KNOWING THIS SHE GOT OFF BED & SLAPPED HER HUSBAND & SHOUTED: I TOLD YOU NOT TO DOGGY STYLE..!!

EK AADMI KO SU-SU KARTA DEKHKAR LADKI DUSRE RAASTE JAANE LAGI.. AADMI BOLA: DARO MAT BABY, JIS SE DARR RAHI HO USE TO MAINE PAKAD KE RAKHA HAI..!!

DOCTOR NASBANDHI KE MAREEZ KE PICHE BHAAG RAHA THA.. KISINE PUCHHA: KYA HUA? DOC.: 4 BAAR AISA HUA, HAR BAAR SAALA SIRF BAAL SAAF KARVAAKE CHALA JATA HAI..!!

A MAN GOES IN A LADIES BAR & ASKED FOR 'MILK'.. GIRL OPENS HER BRA & TELLS HIM TO DRINK THE MILK.. MAN SAYS: "THANK GOD, I DIDN'T ASK FOR WATER!"

WIFE: KAL CHOR AAYA AUR MERE SAATH SEX KARKE CHALA GAYA.. HUSBAND: TUMNE USE ROKA NAHI??? WIFE: BAHOT KAHA RUKHNE KE LIYE, BOLA KAL PHIR AAUNGA..!!

SUHAAG RAAT KE BAAD HUSBAND NE APNI WIFE SE PUCHHA KI KAL RAAT KO KYA MEHSOOS KIYA?? TO WIFE NE KAHA: 5% SHARM, 5% DARD AUR 90% PURAANI YAADEIN..!!

SON TO MOM: "BILLO AUNTY DI BILLI NE SHARAAB PEE LI" MOM: "HOW DO YOU KNOW?" SON: "PAPA UNKO KEH RAHE SI "TERI PUSSY BADI NASHILI HAI!!"

WHAT WILL TWO HOMOSEXUAL MEN SAY TO EACH OTHER WHEN THEY SEE A SEXY GIRL? ANS: ARE YAAR, LADKI AISI HAI TO ISKA BHAI KAISA HOGA??

GIRL WITH BOY, OPENED HER LEGS INVITING HIM TO SEX ASKED: HUMARE BABY KA NAAM KYA HOGA? BOY WEARS CONDOM & SAYS: "ISKE BAAD AGAR LADKA HUA TO 'JAADU' RAKHENGE AUR LADKI HUI TO 'SON PARI' RAKHENGE..!!

TERI EK NAZAR HI KAAFI HAI IS DIL KO JALAANE KE LIYE, ARE PAGLI ITNI BADI PANT PAHEN RAKHI HAI, EK CHHOTI SI CHEEZ CHHUPANE KE LIYE..!!

A MAN HAVING SEX IN THE DARK, SHOUTING AT HER GIRLFRIEND.. MAN: WHAT HAPPEN WHY ARE YOU BARKING LIKE A DOG WHEN I INSERTED MY ORGAN TO YOU?? GIRL: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING, I CAME NOW ONLY FROM BATHROOM..!!

CONDUCTOR: BACHE KA FULL TICKET LAGEGA; LADY: YEH TO ABHI NIPPLE CHOOSTA HAI; CONDUCTOR: WO TO ISKA BAAP BHI CHOOSTA HAI TO KYA USKA BHI AADHA DEGI??

A CRICKETER TO WIFE DURING SEX: PITCH IS DRY, GRASS NOT CUT, SLOW OUTFIELD.. WIFE REPLIES: NONSENSE!! OPPOSITE TEAM CAPTAIN SCORED CENTURY ON THE SAME PITCH..!!

WIFE: SUNO JI, MUJHE NAYI BRA KHAREEDNI HAI.. HUSBAND: KYA ZARURAT HAI, CHHOTE CHHOTE TO HAI.. WIFE: KAL TUMNE UNDERWEAR KHAREEDA THA, MAINE KUCH KAHA..??

EXECUTIVE COMES LATE HOME AFTER HAVING DOGSTYLE SEX WITH HIS SECRETARY AT THE OFFICE.. WIFE: WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? HE SHOUTS: SAARA DIN OFFICE ME KUTTE KI TARAH LAGA RAHA..!!

SUHAAG RAAT THI, KISI NE DARWAZA KHATKATAAYA, DULHAN BHAAG KAR WINDOW KE PICHHE CHHUP GAYI.. DULHA: KYA HUA? DULHAN: MUJHE LAGA RAID PAD GAYI..!!

MAN WAS LYING NUDE ON THE BEACH, A SEXY BABE STARTS PLAYING TABLA ON HIS BUTTS.. MAN: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?? GIRL: PLAYING TABLA.. MAN TURNS OTHER SIDE & SAID: CAN YOU PLAY THE FLUTE..??

SANTA TO HIS WIFE: "GULAABO, YE BRA KIS KI SUKHNE KE LIYE DAALI HAI?" WIFE: "MERI BAHEN KI HAI.." SANTA: "PEHNI HUI TO KABHI DEKHI NAHI..!!"

WIFE BATHROOM SE GLASS KI BOTTLE LE KE: "DARLING, YE WHITE WHITE KYA HAI?" HUSBAND: "YE WO YATEEM BACHCHE HAI JINHE MAA KA PYAR NAHI MILA..!!"

MAN TO LADY IN BUS: "APNE SANTRE SAMBHALIYE MADAM, THEY DISTURB ME.." ANGRILY SHE REPLIES: "TUMKO KYA, SANTRE MERE HAI NA.." MAN: "HAAN PAR JUICE TO MERA NIKAL RAHA HAI..!!"

SARDARNI KO SEX KE BAAD GEELA GEELA LAGA TO PUCHHA: OYE CONDOM KYU NAHI LAGAYA?? SARDAR: O YAAR, PACK PE LIKHA THA 'DO NOT USE IF THE SEAL IS BROKEN!!'

MAN HAVING SEX WITH NEIGHBOUR'S WIFE SAYS: "YOUR BREAST IS SO CUTE & BIGGER THAN MY WIFE.." LADY: "MY HUSBAND ALSO SAYS THE SAME THING.."

EK AADMI APNE NAUKAR KO RS.500 DIYA AUR BOLA: "JAA RAAMU, AAJ TU KISI KO BHI UTHA KAR LEKE AA, MUJHE SEX KARNA HAI" RAAMU: " SAHAB, MAI MURGI LEKAR AAYA HU" WO MURGI KO SAHAB KE KAMRE ME RAKH DETA HAI.. BAHOT TIME HO JATA HAI SAHAB BAHAR NAHI AAYE.. RAAMU ANDAR JAAKAR DEKHTA HAI TO SAHAB MURGI KE PANKH NIKALTE REHTA HAI.. RAAMU: "SAHAB, YE KYA KAR RAHE HO MURGI MAR JAYEGI!!" SAHAB: TU CHUP HO JAA, POORE 500 RUPYE DIYA HU, NANGA KARKE CHODUNGA.."

KAREENA APNE LAUTE BACHCHE SE BAHOT PYAR KARTI THI.. KUCH DINO BAAD USKO EK AUR BACHA HUA.. TO KAREENA CHHOTE WAALE KO ZYADA CHAHNE LAGI.. BADE WAALE SE SAHA NA GAYA.. EK DIN USNE KAREENA KE BREAST PAR POISON FEK DIYA.. SUBAH NEWZ ME BATAYA SHAHID KAPOOR NE ZEHER PEEKAR KHUDKUSHI KAR LI..!!

MALLIKA SAYS WHILE HAVING SEX WITH SACHIN: "ARE YE KYA, TERI BULLY PE TO 'AIDS' LIKHA HAI" SACHIN: "BULLY KO BULLA TO BANNE DE, 'AIDS' NAHI 'ADIDAS' LIKHA HAI..!!

SON: "DADDY, EK RUPYA DO NA" DADDY: "NAHI HAI" SON: "MADARCHOD, TO PAIDA KYU KIYA" DADDY: "GHUS JA PHIR SE, KAHAN TERI MAA KI CHUT BAND HO GAYI HAI..!!"


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