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My Charmed Episode

I’ve got sand in my shoes

[Set in middle of Season Five whilst Piper is pregnant]

[Piper is in kitchen talking to herself. Leo enters.]

Piper: So, what do you think, rice or pasta?

Leo: Piper, don’t ask me, I’m not the chef around here it’s you.

Piper: I know Leo, but you’re my Whitelighter husband and you make all the right choices. (Goes over to kiss him but Leo looks up)

[Jingling is heard. The Elders call Leo.]

Leo: Sorry honey, I gotta go. "They’re" calling.

Piper: But wait. You haven’t answered my… (Leo orbs out) question! (Writes on list: "Reminder: Kill husband later!") Hmmmm, rice or pasta? Why can’t I make a simple decision these days?

[Paige Enters kitchen with shoes]

Paige: What do you think? The black shoes or the white ones?

Piper: (Sighs) Oh Paige, I’m no good at this.

Paige: C’mon Piper!!!

Piper: Look Paige, I’m a soon to be mother, a chef, a powerful witch and a hell of a wife. I’m not a fashion advisor, ask Phoebe. She’s an advisor. Ha! Y’ get it. Ask Phoebe!! (Laughs)

Paige: Ha Ha very funny! (Puts the shoes to one side) Speaking of Phoebe, where is she?

[Phoebe enters]

Phoebe: Right here. Group hug!!! (They all hug)

Piper: Morning’ Pheebs. So what do you two think? Rice or pasta?

Paige: Count me in on pasta!

(Piper looks at Phoebe)

Phoebe: Anything to keep my little niece growing! (Hugs Piper’s belly talking to the baby) What do you think eh? Rice or pasta?

Piper: (Rolls eyes) Alright Phoebe, you can let go now. Paige, you’re in luck, I’ll do us pasta. (Puts notepad aside and starts clearing up)

Paige: Yay! (Picks up shoes) I think I’ll go and get ready for my date.

Phoebe: Wait, you have a date?

Piper: (Stops clearing) Yeah with her room, so before you go on any date missy you can clear it up before I blow. (Phoebe laughs, Piper frowns at Paige)

Paige: I don’t think so… (Orbs out)

Piper: Ha! She is so not getting away with this! (Carries on clearing)

Phoebe: Nah, she’ll do it when she gets back. Besides, who goes on a date at 11am?

Piper: Apparently Paige and her date. (Dries hands on cloth) So, what are you doing today?

Phoebe: Well I was supposed to go to work, but Elise said I can have the day off. (She pours Piper and herself and glass of juice)

Piper: So… what are you gonna do?

Phoebe: Beats me, where’s Leo? (Drinks juice)

Piper: Above. I miss him when they call. (Finishes drink along with Phoebe)

Phoebe: More like you have no one to nag about the housework. (Giggles)

Piper: No! More like they do this on purpose to annoy me! (They enter the hall; Phoebe checks her appearance in the mirror) I’m going to go to the store. Do you want any…

[A loud bang cuts her off]

Phoebe: Paige?!

Piper: C’mon

[Cut to Paige who is in the attic – Piper and Phoebe run upstairs and stop and stare)

Opening Credits

Phoebe: Paige, what did you just do? (Piper laughs) Piper! (Pulls Paige to her feet) Paige, what did you just do?!

Paige: Well I kinda needed more shoes and more choice, so I did a small number spell, rhymed sole with mole and then I kinda got a molehill of shoes on top of me! (groans a bit)

Phoebe: Personal gain Paige!

Paige: I know, but I was desperate!

Piper: Okay, I need to get the groceries and sign a delivery at P3, so I’ll be back late this afternoon. Phoebe, sort this out but if you need a hand, call Leo. The Elders called him this morning, but they should let him come. Oh and Paige, have fun on your date if you get round to it, and no more spells! Bye!

Phoebe and Paige: Cya!

[Piper leaves]

(Phoebe and Paige start moving the shoes)

Phoebe: Oh Paige, what are you like?

Paige: I’m sorry; I’m just a big fan of shoes. (Paige spots Phoebe staring at some sandals) Oh, you like them as well; you can have them, be my guest! (Paige carries on moving shoes; Phoebe continues to stare at them)

(Phoebe reaches for the sandals, and she is thrown into a premonition.)

Phoebe: Oh no!

Paige: What did you see?

Phoebe: I saw… Piper

Paige: Piper? What was she doing? Where was she?

Phoebe: I’m not too sure, but… but I saw her walking away in these sandals, and then she turned to Leo and me with red evil eyes!

Paige: So this means… (Picks up sandals and looks at them) That these are evil and turn Piper evil.

Phoebe: Oh God! We need Leo.

Paige: What if he can’t come?

Phoebe: He’s our Whitelighter, he comes when we need him, and we need him. What about your date?

Paige: Nah, screw him. He was bigheaded anyway!

Phoebe: What?

Paige: Never mind. Lets focus on your vision. (Shouts) Leo! (Looks up) Leo we need you!

(Leo orbs in – Phoebe points at him with stupidity)

Leo: What’s up? Why is there a ton of shoes surrounding you?

Paige: I kinda had a shoes crisis and cast a spell.

Phoebe: Yeah and Piper left us with it and I got a vision from these sandals. (Shows Leo the sandals)

Leo: What did you get? Oh! That’s why you called, sorry!

Paige: Never mind Leo!

Phoebe: I saw Piper in them walking away from me and you and she turned round and she had red eyes, demon like even. Scary, huh?

Leo: Piper doesn’t know, am I right?

Paige: Yeah. She told us to call you if we had a problem…and we have a problem (Slaps hands together)

Leo: Okay Phoebe, call Piper home but don’t tell her about your vision.

Phoebe: Right! What you gonna do?

Leo: Find a way to get rid of the shoes.

Paige: Can I keep them?

Phoebe and Leo: NO!

Leo: Unless you want Piper to turn evil when she gets her hands on these sandals!

Paige: But they’re so… me!

Phoebe: Yeah, er whatever! I’ll go get Piper, Leo keep Paige away from them sandals, I think they’re hypnotic or something!

(Phoebe leaves)

[Cut to store – Piper is shopping. Her phone rings]

Piper: Hello? Leo?

Phoebe: No, it’s Phoebe. Look, Paige and me have discovered something. Leo is home, no time to explain, hurry! It’s urgent! Bye!

Piper: Wait!… (Shrugs shoulders and rushes to till)

[Cut to Manor – Phoebe, Leo and Paige are sat in living room]

Phoebe: So, how are you going to explain?

Leo: In time. I think I better check with the Elders to see if they know anything about demonic sandals. (Phoebe laughs)

Paige: Okay, but hurry, you want to be home for Piper. You know what she’s like.

(Leo orbs out)

Phoebe: Where are the sandals?

Paige: Leo put them under the coffee table (Paige points to coffee table)

Phoebe: Right, as long as Piper doesn’t put them on, I think we’ll be fine… for now!

(The Manor door swings open with Piper drenched holding shopping bags. Phoebe and Paige rush into hallway)

Piper: Argghhh – the damn rain! I couldn’t get to P3 to sign the delivery so I’ve had to call Dixie in. Where is Leo anyway?

Phoebe: Erm, he kinda… erm…he… had to…

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