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*Boksburg Thesaurus of Computer Technology*

BOKSBURG THESAURUS OF COMPUTER TECHNOLOGY

>LOG ON:
Make the braai hotter

>LOG OFF:
The braai is too hot

>MONITOR:
Keeping an eye on the braai

>DOWNLOAD:
Get the firewood off the bakkie

>HARD DRIVE:
Trip back home without any cold beer

>FLOPPY DISC:
What you get lifting too much firewood at once

>KEYBOARD:
Where you hang the bakkie and bike keys

>WINDOW:
What you shut when it's cold

>SCREEN:
What you shut in the mosquito season

>BYTE:
What mosquitoes do

>BIT:
What mosquitoes did

>MEGA BYTE:
What mosquitoes at the lake do

>CHIP:
A bar snack

>MICRO CHIP:
What's left in the bag after you have eaten the chips

>MODEM:
What you did to the lawns

>DOT MATRIX:
Old Jan Matrix's wife

>LAPTOP:
Where the cat sleeps

>SOFTWARE:
Plastic knives and forks you get at KFC

>HARDWARE:
Real stainless steel knives and forks from Checkers

>MOUSE:
What eats the grain in the shed

>MAINFRAME:
What holds the shed up

>WEB:
What spiders make

>WEB SITE:
The shed or under the veranda

>CURSOR:
The old bloke who swears a lot

>SEARCH ENGINE:
What you do when the bakkie won't go

>YAHOO:
What you say when the bakkie does go

>UPGRADE:
A steep hill

>SERVER:
The person at the pub that brings out the lunch

>MAIL SERVER:
The bloke at the pub that brings out the lunch

>USER:
The neighbour who keeps borrowing things

>NETWORK:
When you have to repair your fishing net

>INTERNET:
Complicated fish net repair method

>NETSCAPE:
When fish manoeuvres out of reach of net

>ONLINE:
When you get the laundry hung out

OFF LINE:
When the pegs don't hold the washing up

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