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medical - Animated Comics/Fantasy/Anime
doctor.online.peperonity.net

●◆MEDICAL HUMOR

-------------oOo-------------
ENJOY MEDICAL JOKES!
~oOo~
-=DOCTOR ONLINE=-
COOL SITE Ntw. Ltd.

------oOo------
"AN APPLE A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY"
BUT
"IF THE DOCTOR IS CUTE, FORGET THE FRUIT "!
o-------=oOo=-------o

-[10]-
===========
Can't find
Cause of Pain
==========

As the doctor completed an examination of the patient, he said, "I can't find a cause for your complaint. Frankly, I think it's due to drinking."
"In that case," said the patient, "I'll come back when you're sober"

~~oOo~~

-[9]-
============
A Doctor
complaining to a
Mechanic
===========

A doctor is talking to a car mechanic, "Your fee is several times more per hour then we get paid for medical care."
"Yeah, but you see, doc, you have always the same model, it hasn't changed since Adam; but we have to keep up to date with new models coming every month."

~~oOo~~

-[8]-
===========
Benefits of
Alzheimer's
===========

5. You never have to watch reruns on television.
4. You are always meeting new people.
3. You don't have to remember the whines and complaints of your spouse.
2. You can hide your own Easter eggs.
1. Mysteries are always interesting.

-------o0o--------

-[7]-
===========
Ain't She Cute
===========

Father:- (at hospital looking through glass at newly arrived babies)

"Kitchy kitchy koo. Look, she smiled...
isn't she adorable?"
Friend: "But your kid didn't smile."
Father: "I was talking about the nurse."


--------o0o-------

-[6]-
===========
Boy or Girl
===========

In the maternity ward of a hospital, new-born girl baby looks over at new-born boy baby and asks, "Are you a girl baby or a boy baby?"
The boy baby quickly chirps up, "I'm a boy baby!"
"How can you tell?" asks girl baby.
"Easy," says boy baby. And, with that, he threw off the blankets, hoisted up his itty-bitty night-shirt and proudly pointed downward. "See.....blue booties"

----------o0o--------

-[5]-
============
Breast Enlargement
============

A woman says to her husband that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts.
Her husband tells her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery."

She asks, "How do I do it without surgery?"
Her husband answers, "Just rub toilet paper between them."
"How does that make them bigger?", she asks.
"I don't know, but it certainly worked for your ass

-------o0o-------

-[4]-
===========
Beautiful
===========

There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side.
His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful!" and then he fell asleep again.

His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said "You're cute!"
Well, the wife was dissapointed because instead of "beautiful" it was "cute."
She said "What happened to 'beautiful'?"
His reply was "The drugs are wearing off!"


------o0o------

-[3]-
============
Labour Pains
============

A married couple went to he hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labour pain to the father.
He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favour of it. The doctor set the pain transfer dial to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before.
But as the labour progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine.

The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point they decided to try for 50%.
The husband continued to feel quite well. Since it was obviously helping out his wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.
The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain.
She and her husband were ecstatic.
When they got home, the mailman was lying dead on their porch.

-------o0o------

-[2]-
=============
Mental Release
=============

A man who had been in a mental home for some years finally seemed to have improved to the point where it was thought he might be released.
The head of the institution, in a fit of commendable caution, decided, however, to interview him first.

"Tell me," said he, "if we release you, as we are considering doing, what do you intend to do with your life?'

The inmate said, "It would be wonderful to get back to real life and if I do, I will certainly refrain from making my former mistake. I was a nuclear physicist, you know, and it was the stress of my work in weapons research that helped put me here. If I am released, I shall confine myself to work in pure theory, where I trust the situation will be less difficult and stressful."
"Marvelous," said the head of the institution.
"Or else," ruminated the inmate. "I might teach. There is something to be said for spending one's life in bringing up a new generation of scientists."
"Absolutely," said the head.
"Then again, I might write. There is considerable need for books on science for the general public. Or I might even write a novel based on my experiences in this fine institution."

"An interesting possibility," said the head.
"And finally, if none of these things appeals to me, I can always continue to be a teakettle."

-------o0o-------

-[1]-
============
Migraine Cure
============
A man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches. When the doctor does his history and physical, he discovers that his poor patient has had practically every therapy known to man for his migraines and STILL no improvement.
"Listen," says the Doc, "I have migraines too, and the advice I'm going to give you isn't really anything I learned in medical school, but it's advice that I've gotten from my own experience. When I have a migraine, I go home, get in a nice hot bathtub, and soak for a while. Then I have my wife sponge me off with the hottest water I can stand, especially around the forehead. This helps a little. Then I get out of the tub, take her into the bedroom, and even if my head is killing me, I force myself to have sex with her. Almost always, the headache is immediately gone. Now, give it a try, and come back and see me in six weeks."
Six weeks later, the patient returns with a big grin.
"Doc! I took your advice and it works! It REALLY WORKS! I've had migraines for 17 years and this is the FIRST time anyone has ever helped me!"

"Well," says the physician, "I'm glad I could help."
"By the way, Doc," the patient adds, "you have a REALLY nice house."

------o0o-----


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