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factsb4u.peperonity.net

JOKE FACTS

BRAIN TEASER

Answers below

1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years - Which room is safest for him?

2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 10 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together - How can this be?

3. There are two plastic jugs filled with water. How could you put all of this water into a barrel, without using the jugs or any dividers, and still tell which water came from which jug?

4. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away?

5. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday?

6. This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it? It looks so plain you would think nothing was wrong with it! In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is unusual though. Study it, and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out! Try to do so without any coaching!
ANSWERS
1. The third. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead.

2. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry.

3. Freeze them first. Take them out of the jugs and put the ice in the barrel. You will be able to tell which water came from which jug.

4. The answer is Charcoal. In Homer Simpson's words: hmmmm... Barbecue.

5. Sure you can: Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow!

6. The letter "e", which is the most common letter in the English language, does not appear once in the long paragraph.


If you yelled for eight years, seven months and six days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it!)

If you pass air consistently for six years and nine months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (That one's easy to understand, isn't it?)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 9.5 m. (And you thought those Monty Python guys didn't do any fact checking!)

A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. (In my next life I want to be a pig!)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Still not over that pig thing!)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about pigs?)

On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmm...)

You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.

Americans on the average eat 18 ha of pizza every day. (It shows.)

Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming one-tenth of a calorie.

You are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than by a poisonous spider. (Moral: Always be willing to pay extra for good champagne. Cheap champagne is not worth the risk.)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do. (So those teachers that used to whack your left hand with a ruler and make you write with your right hand were actually trying to do you a favor, the miserable, misguided, fascist, sadistic bastards.)

In ancient Egypt, priests plucked every hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes. (That's a real leg crosser!)

A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. (How did they know that?)

Polar bears are left-handed. (This means they live, on average, nine years less.)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (Are our palates just not sophisticated enough to appreciate the complex taste of pond scum?)

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's the equivalent of a human jumping the length of a football field.

A cockroach will live nine days without its head, before it starves to death. (Creepy!)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. ('Honey. I'm home... What the...?')

Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (Yeah, baby!)

Butterflies taste with their feet. (0h shit!)

Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.

A cat's urine glows under a black light. (That's in case you can't smell it.)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

Starfish haven't got brains.

Barbie's full name is Barbara Milicent Roberts.

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

A crocodile can't stick its tongue out.

A shrimp's heart is in their head.

People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, you're heart stops for a mili-second.

In a study of 200,000 ostriches over a period of 80 years, no one reported a single case where an ostrich buried its head in the sand (or attempted to do so).

It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.

Between 1937 and 1945 Heinz produced a version of Alphabetti Spaghetti especially for the German market that consisted solely of little pasta swastikas.

By law, every child in Belgium must take harmonica lessons at Primary school.

On average, a human being will have sex more than 3,000 times and spend two weeks kissing in their lifetime.

More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call.

Rats and horses can't vomit.

The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.

If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.

Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over a million descendants.

Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

If the government has no knowledge of aliens, then why does Title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations, implemented on July 16, 1969, make it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contact with extraterrestrials or their vehicles?

In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.

Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.

A duck's quack doesn't echo anywhere, and no one knows why.

23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their buttocks.

In the course of an average lifetime you will, while sleeping, eat 70 assorted insects and 10 spiders.

Most lipstick contains fish scales.

Cat's urine glows under a black light.

Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.

If you keep your eyes open by force, they will pop out.

Capital letters and non-capital letters are named 'uppercase' and 'lowercase' because before linotype machines when all type was set by hand, the capital letters were stored in a case above that of the smaller, non-capital letters.

The Declaration of Independence was written on marijuana (hemp paper).

The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."

Barbie's measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33.

Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood, and copper pennies were made of zinc.

There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.

The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan; there was never a recorded Wendy before!

There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with: orange, purple, and silver.

Leonardo DA Vinci could write with one hand while drawing with the other hand. He invented scissors. He spent 10 years getting Mona Lisa's lips painted to his satisfaction.

A tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion will make it instantly go mad and sting itself to death. (RJM Note: For humans it may take more alcohol and more time.)

To save yourself from sinking into quicksand, raise your legs slowly and lie on your back.

The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law, which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything bigger around than your thumb.

The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was the Victrola, so they called themselves Motorola. (RJM Note: I rode in 1958 in a new Plymouth convertible with a record player. Must have been a Motorola player.)

It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with. The same is true of apples. (RJM Note: if you want to lose weight with apples, stay off the sauce.)

Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries.

Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.

The dot over the letter i is called a "tittle".

Los Angeles's full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula" and can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size, "L.A."

A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.

40% of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals. (Sell trinkets at the price of food: that's what makes McDonald's Happy!)

315 entries in Webster's 1996 Dictionary were misspelled.

The 'spot' on 7UP comes from its inventor, who was an albino. He had red eyes.

On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents, daily. (RJM NOTE: With home deliveries the odds are much less.)

Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants. (Mickey Mouse wears pants but no shirt..)

Ketchup was sold in the 1830's as medicine.

In most advertisements, including newspapers, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.

Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.

The Ramses brand condom is named ...


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