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fantasyqueen.peperonity.net

The Truth About Me And Them

*LIVE AID yehaa!*

(Im only young yknow but......)

I do admitt im a verrrry obsesive fan of Queen and one day i decided to write down how much I was...

I don´t know what to do anymore!!! If anything could go to far it would be the Queen thing...and it is! I´ve liked them since I was practically a toddler but it´s something I can´t control because it´s like someone you love A LOT and you would die for them and I can´t get over how amazing I think they are. Why?? Basically I don´t know and it´s funny like that. I feel sooooooo happy sometimes when I listen or watch their videos and I mean sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! It´s the genius of ALL of them. Of course I have the thing about Freddie but the rest also make the band. There´s just something about their whole lives and images of them that make me feel this way. They all bloody rock! It´s changed my life and I know for a while I´ve become pretty obsessed which has been happening all my life anyway. When I feel so happy, sometimes after the happiness I almost defiantly get the gut feeling that this amazing thing that has been in my life for so long is so far away that I´ll never reach it. I mean Freddie is dead. Of course when that happened Queen were no more but that reality is bad for me. I hate that all the brilliant fantasies will stay that way and that´s why I convince myself that I talk to Freddie and he can hear me because he´s in heaven and when I die I´ll be with him. The rest of the reality hit me when I started to find out the real personalities of Queen. Freddie said that what they did was just pretending. I knew that and I still know that their fantastic rockstar images are not all of what they are. So to them I would just be another crazy fan.
I used to say why did you have to die,meaning Freddie. In one way it shows how much I wanted him to live,be living and be amazing but if you look at it in another way you could see it as selfishness just so Queen would come back. And then you think well what is it. I suppose it´s both of them because I´ve said it so many times whilst being upset or not being upset. I feel a bit better that I´ve wrote some of this down but if nothing can ever be resolved then I will be happy to accept(more like I have to accept)that I´m a totally obsessive fan of Queen(which anyone would defiantly say so by reading this)and just buy all their songs and videos. One last note is I think I love Freddie but if I properly did(which I obviously can´t because love is based on you knowing the person)then all these feelings I´ve written down would be easier to believe and you would think all this bullshit(in your opinion,which are actually my feelings)was true but how can I love Freddie Mercury!??(that was not sarcastic)

(Sorry for the use of brackets so much in the last paragraph. Damn!)




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