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31.ADVICE TO LONELY & DEPRESSED



Dear Dr.Love,
I have a serious problem which is leading me to depression. I really like my best friend (who I dated for a short time months ago). I love him as a friend, but I am really starting to like him as more than just a friend. The problem is that the feeling isn't mutual. Usually this situation is easy to stop. All I'd have to do is stop seeing the person that I like, but because our friendship means the world to me, I can't just stop seeing him. Losing any part of our friendship isn't an option. I don't know what to do, and liking him isn't going to fade. What should I do?? Help me, please!
- Lonely and Depressed


Dear Lonely & Depressed,

This is a very common situation after a break-up. As difficult as it may be, you may need to stop seeing each other for a while before truly being friends. I suggest that you tell him that you may need some time to get over your feelings before rebuilding the friendship. As close as you may be to him, try not to get stuck in a rut of co-dependency , which will only make it more difficult to deal with the break-up. Don't forget about your other friends or people who have been waiting in line to be your friend, but can't get close to you because you've been devoting yourself to your ex. Regardless of if you are able to maintain a distance for the time being or not, I suggest that you focus on envisioning a future with someone else. Use your imagination and visualize this new person coming into your life. You may be surprised at your ability to attract exactly what you are looking for.
-Dr. Love


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