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13.THRUSTING

THRUSTING

So far I've been talking about fellatio where one person lays back
and gets sucked off. There's another kind too, where one person
slides his penis in and out of his friend's mouth. The Romans
really liked this kind of fellatio, and called it irrumatio. It
gives a different experience to the person being fellated, because
he's the one moving. He's more tense and active, he's controlling
his experience much more so than in the other style, and he's
moving his penis in an action called thrusting, which in itself
can be a different and enjoyable sensation.

If you and your partner want to try this, have him lie down on his
back with a pillow under his head. Then you straddle him with your
hands and knees so that your crotch is over his face, and your
head is above his. Move around until you can easily fit your penis
into his mouth. He should make his mouth wet and form a snug ring
with his lips around your shaft, as he'd do for the sliding action
described earlier. He should suck on your penis, and otherwise
keep still.

Now you want to slide you penis in and out. This thrusting is
learned, and the only way to learn is by doing. Without moving
your knees or using your hands, move your penis with your hips.
Ask him to be patient and just experiment. Ask yourself, how in
the world can I get myself to move in and out, and try out your
muscles. Imagine a point at the base of your penis, and you want
to cause this point to push out and up through your penis, and
them pull back again. Everyone free of paralysis can do thrusting,
if they want to. Just take you time and explore. Follow you
sensations-see what feels good and do it again. Having an
experienced guide or helper can be very useful too.

That's basically all there is to it. You can add things like
rocking your pelvis from side to side or circularly
(called"grinding"). Or your partner can rock his head from side to
side, or move it up and back to meet your strokes, or use his
tongue if he likes. Also, there are lots of different positions,
standing, kneeling, and so on. Many couples like to work out there
own ways. I'm saying, here are possibilities; there you are-
explore, take what you want, and enjoy!

Some people can get into this second kind of fellatio, others don't
like it. A frequent complaint is that the mouth-partner felt
abused, that he had no control and the other thrust too deeply or
violently, causing gagging, fear, or other troubles. This needn't
happen if the two people can talk freely, and respect their own
and each other's wants and needs. You might be able to work
something out with the following suggestions:

Awareness: if you're thrusting, you can be aware of your friend's
comfort level, and with a little care, regulate the depth and
strength of your thrusts.

Pausing: try pausing for a moment between thrusts.

The Stopper Technique: if your friend is thrusting in your mouth,
you can have some control by wrapping one hand around his lower
shaft, to use as a stopper, allowing only as much as you like. If
your hand is at the base, this also adds a pleasurable pressure
against this body. You (or your partner can use the hand to
masturbate the lower part of his penis as the top part slides in
and out, moving the hand down to the base as the penis slides in.

Mutuality: in irrumaton, the mouth-partner is likely to get bored,
and this contributes a lot of feeling abused. There are some
positions that allow mutual fondling, where he can caress you, and
in others the mouth partner can masturbate himself.

SIXTY NINE

Sixty-nine is mutual fellatio, the two of you sucking each other at
the same time. It's called sixty-nine because the body positions
are like the number 69. There are two positions. In the first, one
person lies flat on his back and his friend kneels over him, head
to feet. From here, you both can roll over on your sides to for
the other.

the special delight of sixty-nine comes from the mutuality,
doubling pleasure and warmth-it's an equal sharing, feeling the
same joys, given to each other, at the same time, in the same
position, at a very intimate level.

You can even go deeper with simultaneous orgasms, coming at the
same time-but a cautionary note: this takes some care. Mutual
orgasm can be meaningful, or also a confusing hangup. When people
get really excited, toward orgasm, they tend to lose control and
awareness. But sucking takes some attention and care. So, sucking
and coming may not always mix well. As people have said, "What's
being done to me distracts me from what I'm doing."

You'll have to work this out for yourself. My opinion is, it's no
big deal; it's nice to come together, and it's nice if we don't.
Some couples like sixty-nine to simultaneous orgasms, and make it
because they've learned to "fit" together. Other couples try hard
but miss the point because they pay too much attention to the
simultaneity and not enough to themselves. Getting orgasms
together is not usually an easy thing.

Some people like to do sixty-nine for a while, and then alternate
with one person and then the other resting. Others like to suck
each other alternately until very turned-on, and then finish off
with a sixty-nine. For myself, I find that mutual orgasm is nice,
but I usually can't suck and be sucked at the same time for very
long. So I might have sixty-nine for a while and then switch to
other things. You can experiment, and see what happens. Also, if
you feel relaxed, sixty-nine is a good way to work on problems
like gagging.



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