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70. Massage, Wanking

Massage, Wanking & Cocksucking

Doing It - Massage
Massage is a powerful relaxation technique which involves rubbing, stroking and kneading the body, particularly muscle areas which accumulate tension. For example, head massages can relieve tension headaches and a foot massage can make you feet feel wonderful. While qualified masseurs will maintain (quite rightly) that it is a skill in its own right, massage can also be a big turn-on and a sensual prelude to sex.

In our desire to get our rocks off, we can sometimes forget the intimate pleasure gained from getting to know someone's body without fucking them rigid... well at least not immediately. And so, given its benefits to de-stress, relax and produce a positive feeling of well being, its not surprising that massage is used to set the mood. Buy some massage oil available from chemists, the Body Shop, and some health shops. Experiment with different scented oils. Bear in mind that once massaged you will pong (lovely though this may be). Oils damage condoms. If you intend to use them later all traces of massage oil should be removed. However, massage is not recommended if you have a skin condition, or thrombosis (varicose veins) and Karposi's Sarcoma which can be aggravated by massage.


Keep some towels to hand.
Oils can be difficult to wash from sheets and clothing and in some cases can stain.
Unplug the phone, turn off mobiles/pagers and turn off the TV.
Relaxing music will often compliment the massage.
Be sure the room is comfortably warm.
Dim the lights or perhaps use candles.
Above all don't rush, take time. (If you're that horny just fuck him).
Don't talk unless it's necessary but do listen to your partner.
Your guy should be naked with a towel over the groin (tummy to thighs); if he's totally naked this can be prematurely distracting.
Making sure your partner is comfortable, place him (in the first instance) on his front.
Place a teaspoonful of oil into the palm of one hand and warm it up by rubbing your hands together.
Where you massage is up to you but think about the scalp, head, neck, shoulders, back (remembering the sides which can be ticklish), small of the back, thighs, ankles feet and toes... in fact anywhere. But, if you're after maximum stimulation don't forget the nipples, ears (lobs),the soles of this feet and the cheeks and crack of his arse (without losing your hand).
With firm circular stroking movements - developing a smooth and constant rhythm - knead and rub the skin moulding your hands into to the contours of the body. As you massage use different parts of your hands. Your technique should be purposeful but reassuring.
Use your thumbs and fingertips to apply deep pressure and relax tense muscles, eg in the shoulders and neck. You should be able to increase the pressure slightly over larger areas, eg the back and legs, but don't push or leave your partner out of breath. If an area proves ticklish increase the pressure or move to a different area.
One hand should be in contact with the body at all times using your other hand if you need more oil.


Doing It - Wanking (masturbation)
Wanking, jacking off, masturbation, beating your meat, jerking off (you Americans are sooo... funny), beating off, - whatever you want to call it - crosses cultures and continents and is probably the most practised sexual activity in the world. Past centuries have described as depraved, undesirable, heinous, frightful, unclean and abominable which all seem like pretty good reasons to get into it. Today, it is accepted as a natural, healthy activity - and don't we know it! Of course it has its critics, but they're probably still doing it behind the bike shed.



Most of us start wanking in our teens, sometimes earlier, learning from friends or books as we discover the sensations of rubbing and playing with ourselves or being touched for the first time by a mate. Some guys see wanking as inferior to 'real' sex, but they have a lot to learn. Whether alone or with a partner wanking allows you to create and exercise your own fantasies. You have total control whether it's planned, impulsive, stress-relieving or you do it just because you're horny. Best of all, you can do it as much as you like. Your body will tell you when it's had enough for the time being - your dick will be sore or you won't be able to get a hard-on. There's no proper way. We all learn and develop our own style and it can be fab watching someone else. Techniques vary from tugging, pulling, massaging up and down, rolling between your hands, lying on your back, standing up, on your front, on your knees or on the toilet. Some guys may use lubricant or spit to help improve technique, movement and sensitivity. While some of us prefer to use a particular hand others are equally adept with both. Some guys can only jack themselves off. It addition to giving loads of pleasure, wanking can also familiarise yourself with your body, develop your sexual techniques, better manage your ability to cum or to hold off and practise using condoms. If you feel guilty about wanking, remember that this is usually the result of negative, moralistic prejudice which demonises a natural and healthy activity. Ignore all that - and just do it!



Doing It - Cocksucking

There can't be many gay men who haven't sucked a guy off or been sucked off. Known also as a blowjob, giving head and oral sex, cocksucking is as common as it is versatile and can be done virtually anywhere and in any position. While it can be a prelude to fucking, it's also immensely satisfying in its own right. If you're short of time and fancy a 'quickie, you don't have to get undressed which is why it is often the preferred choice for sex in cruising areas and back rooms. Cocksucking should be a pleasure and not a chore and if you don't enjoy it (either way) then it's something guys notice quite quickly.
Guys being sucked will usually send out signals to what feels best: grunts, groans, sighs... and verbal instructions if he's pushy.
It may not always be possible to take a whole cock without gagging, a perfectly natural reflex to rid yourself of something 'stuck' in your throat. Eventually your body learns that in this particular instance this is an exception.
An erect dick stands about 45o upwards and the angle between your mouth and throat is about the same. This is one reason why it can be difficult to take a dick in your mouth particularly if you're on your knees in front of the guys. If circumstances allow (if you're in bed for example) turn yourself around so that the dick offers less resistance in the mouth and throat.
Cocksucking uses muscles that don't get much other use: with practice you'll last longer. If you get tired, take a break, have a Kit-Kat, and suck his balls instead.
Your tongue can also stimulate the shaft and the head of the cock although some guys can find this overly sensitive.
His dick is not a snack: ensure that you don't use your teeth. The cock is tender and can be scratched and cut by teeth, braces, and sharp fillings. If you're wearing dentures, make sure they are fixed.
Putting a thumb and forefinger around his dick will give you some control over how much you suck at any on time. Some guys will just want to fuck your mouth and this can be uncomfortable particularly if they put their hands around your head and pull you (repeatedly) on to the dick. If you're not ready or if it's not what you want, this can be a real turn off as his dick playsjack-hammer.
Knowing if your partner wants to cum in your mouth can be difficult to assess but if you hear pre-cum moans or something along the lines '...I'm gonna cum baby, take my load', you can take it as read. Such a warning allows you disengage - but get out of the way, or he may cum over your face or in your eyes, which will sting.
And finally, some guys also like having their arsehole played with while they're given a blow job.

How safe is oral sex?

It's fair to say that the question of HIV transmission through cocksucking has given HIV prevention workers more headaches than any other sexual activity. While the risk is generally described as 'low' or 'very low', transmission has occurred. More recently, experts are now saying that there is an increased risk of HIV transmission from oral sex particularly if oral gonorrhoea is also present. Quite understandably, two of the most frequent questions asked are: is there a risk and how risky is it?

Let's go back to basics: for HIV transmission to occur, the virus has to be present and it has to get into the bloodstream. Your mouth is lined with a membrane which is usually waterproof and protects us in very much the same way that skin does on other parts of our body. However, we all get cuts and nicks in our mouth and there are times when we have sores, ulcers and bleeding gums, particularly after we've brushed our teeth. If HIV is present in cum or pre-cum, it can pose a risk of infection. So the answer to the first question is yes, there is a risk.

HIV transmission from oral sex is much less frequent than from unprotected fucking, but it's impossible to know exactly how much lower. Factors to consider include how much of the virus is present, its strength and the presence of cuts, sores, or abrasions in the mouth and throat. These are impossible to measure unless, by chance, you have a laboratory in the bedroom which is why sexual health advice on cocksucking is based on reducing the risk involved.

The following guidelines reduce the risk of HIV and other sexually transmitted infections such as gonorrhoea and hepatitis.


Clean and floss your teeth regularly and properly - but not directly before sex. Brushing your teeth just beforehand increase the likelihood of bleeding gums or cuts.
Bigger dicks are more likely to graze the membrane lining your mouth and throat.
If you have a sore mouth, bleeding gums or mouth ulcers, don't suck until it has healed.
Attend dental check-ups at least twice a year.
Attend sexual health check-up at least three times a year.
Don't let him cum in your mouth.
Consider pulling out if you taste pre-cum.
Bigger dicks are more likely to graze the membrane lining your mouth and throat.


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