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"Jokes" (LYAO) ()

Stop by for a laugh...

Dinner :) A hunter kills a deer and brings it home. He decided to clean and serve it for supper. He knows his kids are fussy eaters, and won't eat if they know what it is-so he does not tell them. His little boy keeps asking him, "What's for supper?" "You'll see," says his dad. They start eating supper and his daughter keeps asking what they're eating. "Ok," says her dad, "here's a hint, it's what your mother sometimes calls me." "We're eating asshole!" she screams.

Magic :) A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and says, "You want to play magic?" "She says, what's that?" He says, "We go to my house fuQ, and then you disappear."

Pets :) (3) people, (2) men (1) women and their dogs are in the vets waiting room. The first man's dog asked the second man's dog what he's there for. They are putting me down. Oh no, says the first dog, why? The second dog says, "Well you see.... I've been chasing the postman for years. Yesterday, I finally caught him, and bit him." So, I'm going to be put to sleep. The second dog says, "Well my master remodeled the house I didn't like it because my scent wasn't anywhere, anymore. So when he went to bed last night, I pissed on everything I could find, to get my scent back." This morning, my master found out what I had done, so he's putting me to sleep also. The third dog said, "This is my masters new girlfriend. She runs around the house naked all the time without any clothes on. This makes me horny. So, this morning, as she was getting out the shower, and bent over to wipe the water off the floor. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I jumped on her and gave it to her good!" The other dogs say, "so that's why they're putting you to sleep?" No says the dog, "she is bringing me here to get my toenails clipped!"

Q. When do you kick a midget in the balls? A. When they're standing in front of your girlfriend saying "her hair smells nice."

Q. What the difference between your job and a dead prostitute? A. Your job still sucks

Q. What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? A. Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job.

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