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immortal.laughter.peperonity.net

♚Տtʀaɨռ ʏօʊʀ ɮʀaɨռ aռՏաɛʀՏ♚

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Question:
If it takes six men one hour to dig six holes, how long does it take one man to dig half a hole?
Answer:
There is no such thing as half a hole.
Question:
Two men play five complete games of checkers. Each man wins the same number of games. There are no ties. How?
Answer:
The two men were not playing against each other.
Question:
A farmer has seventeen sheep. All but nine of them die. How many sheep does he have left?
Answer:
Nine.
Question:
How many seconds are in a year?
Answer:
12: January 2, February 2, March 2, April 2, ...
Question:
If 3 peacocks lay 5 eggs in 8 days, how many peacocks will lay 29 eggs in 76 days?
Answer:
Peacocks do not lay eggs, peahens do.
Question:
You walk across a bridge and you see a boat full of people yet there isn’t a single person on board. How is that possible?
Answer:
All of the people on the boat are married.
Question:
How many apples can you fit into an empty box?
Answer:
One, then it isn’t empty anymore.
The red house is on one side and the blue is on the other, where is the white house?
Answer:
In Washington D.C.
Question:
What five letter word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?
Answer:
The word, "short."
Question:
You are running in a street marathon and you overtake the person in 2nd place. What place are you now?
Answer:
Second.
Question:
A boy was rushed to the hospital emergency room. The ER doctor saw the boy and said, "I cannot operate on this boy. He is my son." But the doctor was not the boy’s father. How could that be?
Answer:
The doctor was his mom
Question:
How can you take 9 toothpicks and make ten without breaking the toothpicks?
Answer:
TEN (every line making the letters in the word ten is one toothpick. There are nine lines you draw when writing ten, so there are 9 toothpicks making TEN)
Question:
You throw away the outside and cook the inside. You eat the outside and throw away the inside. What did you eat?
Answer:
Corn on the cob.
Question:
You walk into a room with a match. In the room there is a stove, a heater and a candle. What do you light first?
Answer:
The match.
Question:
Every day, a cyclist crosses the border between Spain and France carrying a bag. No matter how much custom officials investigate him, they do not know what he is smuggling. Do you?
Answer:
Bicycles.
Question:
A woman walks into a restaurant and asks the manager for a glass of water. The manager aims a gun at her, the woman was pleased, said thank you and left. Why?
Answer:
The woman had hiccups and the manager gave her a shock to scare away her hiccups!
Question:
There is a man on an island prison, he cannot swim. One day he escapes using nothing but himself. There is no bridge. How does he do it?
Answer:
He escapes in the winter when the body of water surrounding the island is frozen. He simply walks away.
Question:
A man was speeding and ran through a stop sign. Two police officers saw him and just sat there. Why?
Answer:
He was running.
Question:
A small defenseless animal lays on the ground in the heat of the sun. Suddenly, it is pulled up and beaten with sticks. The animal’s body is broken, but no one is punished for the crime. Why not?
Answer:
It was a piñata.
Question:
Why is it illegal to bury a man living in South Carolina in North Carolina?
Answer:
It is illegal to bury a person while they are still living.
Question:
Two people are in a barn. Ten cats follow them in. How many feet are in the barn now?
Answer:
There are four feet in the barn, cats have paws, not feet.
Question:
Is it illegal to marry your widow’s sister?
Answer:
Yes, because dead people can’t get married.
Question:
A girl is sitting in a house at night that has no lights on at all. There is no lamp, no candle, nothing. Yet she is reading. How?
Answer:
The woman is blind and is reading braille.
Question:
A boy is walking around in a carnival and he sees a single man in a booth. He walks up to the man and asks what the booth is for. "Well," says the man, "If I can write your exact weight on this slip of paper, I pay you $20. If I get it right, you pay me $20." The boy looks around, and seeing no scales, agrees. 5 minutes later, the man has gotten $20 from the boy. How?
Answer:
The man wrote "your exact weight" on a piece of paper.
Question:
Two trains are on the same railroad track; one is headed east the other west, they both leave the station at 1:00. and are travelling at the same speed. Yet they didn’t crash into each other. How can this be?
Answer:
They went at the same time but one went at 1:00 in the afternoon and one went at 1:00 in the morning.
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Question:Detective Sara Dunts was called in for an investigation on a Saturday morning. Mr. John Gooding had mysteriously vanished from his one story home, Sara was told. "I’ll phone Mrs. Glen, the caretaker, and get you the address." Detective Chad Sandlers, Sara’s partner, said. Sara stood waiting as hemade the call. "Okay, everything’s set. Mrs. Glen will be expecting you in half an hour at 232 Parker At." Detective Chad said.Sara hopped out of her car and walked up thelong path that led to the house. Right away she was ushered inside by Mrs. Glen."Detective, I’m so glad you came. The last place I saw Mr. Gooding was in his room. I suspected that would be your first question."Mrs. Glen said somewhat nervously. She walked Sara into the other room. "Up here," Mrs. Glen called from a twisting flight of stairs. The front door banged shut just as Sara started up the steps. "Oh, I must have left the door open. The wind must have shut it." Mrs. Glen said. Again they started up the stairs.They walked up the enormous stairway. Halfway up detective Sara noticed a weather vane through the window. She realized that the wind was blowing west and in order for it to have shut the door it would have to have been blowing east. Then Sara realized for thefirst time that there was a third set of footsteps on the stairs. Then it dawned on her and she realized she had walked into a trap. How did Sara know she had walked intoa trap?Answer:Detective Sara Dunts realized she had walked into a trap when she heard the extra set of footsteps. Hearing the footsteps on thestairs made her remember what her partner had said, "Mr. John Gooding had mysteriously vanished from his one story home." She then realized that this was not Mr. Gooding’s home because at that very moment she realized that she was climbing stairs in a supposedly one story house.Sara immediately called for backup and arrested Mrs. Glen. She then walked down the stairs to find Mr. Gooding near the bottom. The two had planned on kidnapping and killing Sara for putting Mr. Gooding’s niece and Mrs. Glen’s son in jail for murder. Both went to jail to serve their time.
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Question:A detective who was mere days from cracking an international smuggling ring hassuddenly gone missing. While inspecting hislast-known location, you find a note:710 57735 34 5508 51 7718Currently there are 3 suspects: Bill, John, andTodd. Can you break the detective’s code and find the criminal’s name?Answer:Bill. If you read the message upside down, you’ll notice that the numbers resemble letters and that those letters form legible sentences. The message is "Bill is boss. He sells oil."
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Question:Shauna was killed one Sunday morning. The police know who they are going to arrest from this bit of information:April was getting the mailAlyssa was doing laundryReggie was cookingMark was planting in the gardenWho killed Shauna and how did the police know who to arrest?Answer:April killed Shauna because there is no mail delivery on Sundays.
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Question:There is a man found dead in a circular mansion. The detective interviews the cook, maid, and babysitter. The cook said he couldn’t have done it because he was preparing the meal. The maid said she couldn’t have done it because she was dusting the corners. The babysitter said she couldn’t because she was playing with the children. Who was lying?Answer:The maid. There are no corners in a circular mansion.
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Question:A man is found dead one Saturday morning. He was killed while his wife was sleeping. The wife tells the police all that she knows. She tells them that the cook was cooking breakfast, the maid was cleaning and the butler was getting the mail. The police immediately arrest the person who is responsible. Who is responsible and why?Answer:The wife because she was sleeping, how could she know that all of that happened!
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Question:A crime has been committed at Freemont Street. The main suspect is a man named Sean Baker. It was said that a man had been walking along the pathway when he was suddenly shot in the stomach. The suspect had brown hair, blue eyes and wore a baggy Armani suit just like Sean Baker’s.Sean was asked to tell the story right from the beginning. "Well," said Sean, "I was just hanging around the park when I saw this man walking along the pathway. Suddenly, a guy came up from behind him and shot him! I ran home as fast as I could." The policemenasked him to give a description of the murderer. "He had a red moustache, red hair and a baggy Armani suit on.""I think this man is telling a lie," said one of the policemen. How did he know?Answer:How can the murderer shoot him in the stomach if he came up behind the man?
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