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The Shaggy Dog's Theme

Part I
Everybody who has a dog calls it
"Rover" or "Boy"; I called mine "Sex".
Now Sex has been very
embarrassing to me. When I went to
the city hall to renew his license, I
told the clerk I wanted to have a
license for Sex. He said "I'd like to
have one too." Then I said "But this
is a dog". He said he didn't care want
she looked like. Then I said, "You
don't understand, I've had Sex since
I was 9 years old." He said I must
have been quite a kid.
Then when I got married and went
on my honeymoon, I took the dog
with me. I told the hotel clerk I
wanted a room for my wife and me
and a special room for Sex. He said
every room in the hotel was for sex.
I said "You don't understand, Sex
keeps me awake at nights." He said
"Me too."
Part II
One day I entered Sex in a contest,
but before before the competition
began the dog ran away. Another
contestant asked me why I was
hanging around. I told him that I
planned to have Sex in the contest.
He told me I should have sold tickets
of my own. "But you don't
understand," I said, "I hope to have
sex on TV." He called me a show-off.
When my wife and me separated,
we went to court to fight over the
custody rights of the dog. I said
"Your honor, I had Sex before we
were married." The judge said "me
too." Then I told him that after I
married Sex left me. The judge said
"Me too."
Last night Sex ran off again. I spent
hours looking for him around town.
A cop came over and asked me,
"What are you doing in this dark
alley at 4 in the morning?" I said "I'm
looking for sex." My case comes up
on Friday.

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