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»Workplace jokes«

»Reason for not come in to work today bcoz i´vl be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work.
»TEAMWORK means never having to take all the blame yourself.
»Employer to applicant: In this job we need someone who is responsible. Applicant: Im the one you want. On my last job, every time anything wrong. They said I was responsible.
»Employee want ad translations- make an investment in you future: This is a franchise or a pyramid scheme.
»Employee want ad translations- Much client contact: u handle the phone or make ´cold calls´ on clients.
»Guest: I wud like to speak wid James, who i understand is a tried and trusted employee of yours. Banker:yes he certainly was trusted. And he vl b tried as soon as we catch him.
»Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security.
»Employe no.1: Say why did the foreman fire you? Employee no.2: U know how a foreman is always standing n watching others do the work. My foreman got jealous, people started thinking i was the forman.

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