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Irish (10)

Sean and Tim were out walking when they got seperated. After searching for his friend with no success, Sean approached a policeman and asked, ´Excuse me, officer, but have you seen a fella wandering around without me?´
An Irishman walked into a pub and ordered a drink. Seeing a pretty girl at the other end of the bar he told the barman he´d like to buy her a drink.
´Forget about her,´ advised the barman, ´she´s a lesbian!´
Picking up his drink, the Irishman approached the girl.
´Hello,´ he smiled, making small talk, ´tell me, what part of Lesbia are you from?´
Irishman ´i´d like a sink.´
hardware shop assistant,
´do you want a plug too?´
Irishman, ´why? Is it electric?´
An Irishman buying a wig asked the salesman, ´How often does it need trimming?´
An Irishman to his mate, ´Thank God for water. If there was no water, we wouldn´t be able to learn to swim, then we´d all drown.´
Police arrested an Irish rapist and put him in an identity parade. As the victim was led in, the Irishman yelled, ´Thats Her!´
An Irish advert in the classifieds reads.. For Sale. Man´s suit. Perfect fit.
Tim, ´hey sean, would ya like to come to my New Years Eve party?´
Sean, ´Thanks, Tim. When is it?´
An Irishman on a desert island found a lifeboat, he smashed it up to make a raft.
Woman, ´Officer, I´ve just been raped by an irishman.´
Policeman, ´How do ya know he was Irish?´
Woman, ´I had to show him what to do!´.

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