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Midget Jones's Diary

Wednesday

Well I decided it was time to get some help about being short , I'm fed up of being 34 and nobody taking me seriously . So I went to see the professionals.

[ At the local shopping centre ]

Elf " Who's Next for Santa's grotto ? "

Midget Jones " That'll be me "

Elf " Wow your shorting than me , I dont think Santa needs anymore elves "

Midget Jones " ARGH!!! SHUT IT!!! "

Elf " Ok...go on through "

*Midget Jones goes through the screen to see santa*

Santa " Well hello there and what would you like for christmas ,son ? "

Midget Jones " Well Santa I'd like to be taller "

Santa " and whats your name little boy?"

Midget Jones " My names Craig , Santa "

Santa " Well Craig don't worry about it you'll start growing when you're in your teens then you'll be taller"

Midget Jones " JESUS CHRIST YOU OLD GIT I'M F**CKING ALREADY 34 YEARS OLD NOW MAKE ME TALLER MAKE ME TALLLLLLLLERRRRR !!!!!"

Santa " I'M NOT F**KING REAL YOU TWAT!!!! "

Little kid waiting in the line " What does f**k mean mummy? "

Mother of the kid " Ah well it...um...its a type of present steven "

Steven,the little kid " Is that why you asked daddy for a f**k ? Can I ask Santa for a f**k? Does Santa give his reindeers a f**k? "

Steven's mother " NOOOOOOOO!!! stop saying that word Steven "

Steven " So if Santa doesnt give them then who gives a f**k mummy? "

Mother " STEVEN STOP WITH THAT WORD!!!"

Well that was wednesday


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