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Bad Jokes

Bad Jokes

It doesnt get worse than these ( I hope )

1) Man walks into clock shop , goes over to the shopkeeper

Man " Hi , I've come to talk to you about your merchandise "

Shopkeeper " Well , its about time "

2 ) Grim Reaper walks into a bar ,goes up to the bar tender

Grim Reaper " Your time has come "

Bar tender " What? Who are you? "

Grim Reaper " I am the Grim Reaper "

Bar Tender " WHO?!! "

Grim Reaper " I am death "

Bar Tender " Oh sorry mate I'll speak up , WHO ARE YOU!!!"

3) Car driving slowly along a narrow country road , driver sees another car coming along the opposite direction , pulls into the side and leans out his window

Original car drive " Hey mate ,just thought I'd warn you about something "

Other car driver " Yeah, whats that? road block ? "

Original car driver " Nah , but theres cyclist dead ahead "

Other car driver " Wheres the sign for that? "

Original car driver " No sign , I just smacked the f**ker around the next corner , bloody dented my bonnet "

4) Tried to kill myself the otherday , felt really low , put the gun to my head , closed my eyes and slowly squeezed the trigger , thought it would make me feel better . Sadly I never felt the bullet . Got glue all over the side of my head though.

5) This guy told me that theres nothing funny about suicide , he was right , I told him a joke and he hung himself

6) My father told me that nothing comes for free nowadays , That screwed me I had been trying to sell it on ebay for £25 a go.

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