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Chuck Norris Jokes

that ll happen if u cross ur way with Chuck Norris

01. the followin spellin mistakes hiden itself 4 Chuck Norris

02. if Chuck Norris makes press-ups he dont push himself away 4rm da ground but he push da ground away 4rm himself

03. if Chuck Norris takes drugs he wont get addicted 2 them but da drugs get Chuck-Norris-addicted

04. Chuck Norris dont read books. he gazes at them till the books tellin him voluntarinly what he wanted 2 know

05. Chuck Norris dont brush his teeth but his teeth brushin Chuck Norris

06. Chuck Norris turns around knobbed condoms coz he wanna have fun

07. Chuck Norris tears r able 2 mend cancer, its a pitty he neva cry

08. once Chuck Norris built a time machine so he woz able 2 travell back in time 2 thwart da assassination of John F. Kennedy. as Lee Harvey Oswald shoot at John F. Kennedy Chuck Norris cought all da 3 bullets. John F. Kennedy´s head explode due of blank astonishment

09. Chuck Norris is able 2 make a woman cum if he jz point with his finger 2 her and shout "BOOYA"

10. Chuck Norris dont use 2 sleep. hes w8in

11. da main export article of Chuck Norris is pain

12. if u can c Chuck Norris then he can c u either. if u cant c him u r possibly less seconds away 4rm ur own death

13. Chuck Norris aint go 4 huntin coz that contains failure. he gos killin

14. Chuck Norris ate 20 pounds of steak in abt 1 hour. he slept da 1st 45 mins with da w8ress

15.Chuck Norris counted till infinity... 2 times

16. once Chuck Norris ordered a BigMac at BurgerKing-and get it

17. Chuck Norris aint equipped like a horse. horse r equipped like Chuck Norris

18. if Chuck Norris gotta do 2 file a return he only send empty papers and a pic of himself. he neva need 2 pay tax

19. Chuck Norris died 10 years ago but da death aint got da courage 2 tell him

20. Chuck Norris donate blood but neva his own

21. Chuck Norris woz born as a triplet. his brothers r death and pain

22. if Chuck Norris soin 2 speak, God ll listenin

23. Chuck Norris aint believe in God. God believe in Chuck Norris

24. well-better-best-Chuck Norris

25. if Chuck Norris wud fall into water he wont get wet but da water ll get Chuck Norris

26. once Chuck Norris ate a whole tart b4 they cud tell him it contains a female nude dancer

27. da time w8in 4 no1-except Chuck Norris

28. what sais Chuck Norris b4 he punsh som1 with a Roundhouse-Kick in its mug? no1 knows coz dead ppl arent able 2 speak

29. tanks arent produced of steel. they r produced of Chuck Norris

30. Chuck Norris is able 2 make a fire with a magnifier, even at n8

31. Chuck Norris drinks 4 litres of whiskey and afterwards hes still able 2 plough a field with his chubby

32. as Bill Gates sez 2 Chuck Norris "i got dat planty money 2 buy da whole world" Chuck Norris responded "i dont sell"

33. Chuck Norris dont need air 2 breathe. da air need Chuck Norris

34. Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun

35. God said "it ll b light" Chuck Norris said "say please"

36. Chuck Norris knows only 2 kinda motions- movin and killin

37. Chuck Norris dont carry a watch. he decise how time it is

38. b4 monsters go 2 bed they look in da cupboard and beneath da bed 2 c if Chuck Norris is there

39. Chuck Norris gaze petrify da Medusa

40. if Chuck Norris is bored in da cinema he changes da channel

41. Chuck Norris can drown a fish

42. if Chuck Norris pushes the "escape"-key da computer disappear with a discreetly bow

43. ChuckNorrisDontUseTheSpaceKey

44. at the zeroth day Chuck Norris made God

45. Chuck Norris can draw a square with 3 lines

46. as a child Chuck Norris neva learned 4 history lessons. the history conformed 2 his answers

47. 4get da previous point. Chuck Norris neva woz a child

48. Chuck Norris dont play God. playin is 4 children

49. Chuck Norris dont move mountains. they flee 4rm him

50. if Germany and England playin against each other in the world cup final, whos gonna 2 win? Chuck Norris

51. Jesus can run over the water. can run over Jesus

52. at the beginnin there woz the nothingness. then came Chuck Norris and gave this nothingness a Roundhouse-Kick and told it "seek 4 a job!" then it became the universe

53. Chuck Norris aint made of atoms. they made of Chuck Norris

54. Chuck Norris is able 2 make peace in Middle east. its a pitty hes 2 busy

55. Chuck Norris dont use ballpoint pens. he write with the blood soaked fingers 4rm his foes

56. once Chuck Norris woz involved in a fight with knieves. the knife lost

57. Moses parts the Red Sea. incommoded at his vacations there Chuck Norris parts Moses

58. no1 4get Chuck Norris. if u r a lucky devil he ll 4get u

59. Chuck Norris aint recieve spam

60. Chuck Norris woz able 2 play through Tetris

61. there aint no wind. its air which is fleein 4rm Chuck Norris

62. Chuck Norris next movie ll b called "The Walker Texas Ranger Massacre"

63. behind evry succesful man stands a woman. behind evry dead man stands Chuck Norris

64. Chuck Norris dont eat coz the eatin know its save in Chuck Norris stomache

65. Chuck Norris is able 2 grill-even under water

66. Chuck Norris invented an own lingo by kicks and punshes. the next time he gonna Roundhouse-Kickin u he only wanna talk

67. Chuck Norris can touch Mc Hammer

68. Chuck Norris 1st lingo is Roundhouse-Kickin. his 2nd is pain

69. if Chuck Norris gonna misdiall, the person which is affected ll get him through 2 the right person

70. Chuck Norris is able 2 build a Perpetuum Mobile

71. no coffee is strong enough 4 Chuck Norris

72. Chuck Norris can build hotels at Monopoly after startin the game

73. if Chuck Norris drinks alcohol, the alcohol get drunk not Chuck Norris


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