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One Liners II

1:-) The old woman who lived in a shoe now has a lot of descendants who are living on a shoe-string!
2:-( It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together but only one to scatter it all over the highway!
3;-) For every action, there an equal but opposite govt program!
4:-D A sophisticated friend claims that nothing can replace the modern swimsuit and it practically has!
5:-l Don´t approach a goat from front, a horse from the back or a fool from any side!
6:-) Some people have no respect for age unless it is bottled!
7:-( A balanced budget happens when the earning power catches up with the yearning capacity!
8;-) Its easy to lie with a straight face but its nicer to lie with a curved body!
9:-D The population explosion may be attributed to people taking leave of their census!
10:-l Sometimes when two is company, three is the result!
11:-) You can´t judge the modern girl by her clothes. There isn´t enough evidence!
12:-( Old Chinese proverb: Wash face in the morning and neck in the night!
13;-) Another Chinese proverb: The pretty woman in the house is the enemy of the ugly ones!
14:-D You know you are getting old when you don´t care where your wife is going as long as you don´t have to go with her!
15:-l You know you are getting old when when you sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there!
16:-) A woman with a past attracts men who hope history will repeat itself!
17:-( Its usually a girl´s geography that determines her history!
18:-) Well behaved women never make history!
19:-( Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener!
20;-) He who does not understand a look will not understand a good explanation either!
21:-) Count your life by smiles not tears. Count your age ay friends not years!
22:-( A girl worries before she marries. A boy never worries till he marries!
23;-) Blaming your faults on your nature does not change the nature of your faults!
24:-D Men fall in love with their eyes and women with their ears!
25:-l Don´t be so open minded that your brains fall out!
26:-) I don´t have a solution but I admire the problem!
27:-( It is hard not to meet expenses, they are everywhere!
28;-) I used up all my sick days, so I´m calling in dead!
29:-D Be nice to your kids. They will be the ones choosing your nursing home!
30:-l There can´t be a crisis today, my schedule is already full!
31:-) Mental floss prevens moral decay!


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