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F. Billy connollys 16 things i hate...

....about people!

The big yin tells us wot he hates abov people. This is v.funny LOL!
1. People who point at their wrist watch while askin 4 the time...I know were my watch is pal, where the f#ck is urs? Do i point 2 my crotch when i ask were the toilet is?
2. People who r willin 2 get off their arse 2 search the entire room 4 the tv remote cos they refuse 2 walk 2 the tv and change the channel manually.
3. When people say ´u just want ur cake and eat it 2´ F#ckin rite! Wot goods a cake if u cant eat it?
4. When people say ´its always in the last place u look´ of course it is. Why the f#ck would u keep looking after u found it? Do people do this? Who and where r they?
5. When people say during a film ´did u c that?´ no tosser, i paid £5 2 come 2 the cinema and stare at the f#ckin floor.
6. People who say ´can i ask u a question?´ didnt really give me a choice did u sunshine?
7. When something is new and improved which is it? If is new then there has never been anythin b4 it, if its improved, then there must have been something b4 it.
8. When people say ´life is short´ what the f#ck, Life is the longest damn thing we ever f#ckin do! Wot can u do thats longer?
9. When ur waitin 4 a bus and some1 asks ´has the bus come yet?´ if the bus came would i b standing here knob head?
10. People who say things like ´my eyes arent what they used 2 b´ so wot did they used 2 b? Ears? Welly boots?
11. When ur eating something and some1 says ´is that nice?´ no, its really revolting. I always eat stuff i hate.
12. People who announce they r going 2 the toilet. Thanks, thats an image i really didnt need.
13. Mcdonalds staff who pretend they dont understand u when u dont insert the Mc b4 the item ur ordering... it has 2 b McChicken burger, just a chicken burger gets blank looks. Well, i will hav a Mcstraw and jam it in ur Mceyes u f#ckin Mctosser.
14. When ur in an accident and some1 asks ´r u alrite?´ yes, fine thx, i will just pick up my limbs and be on my way.
15. People who sit with u when ur watchin a football match. some1 shoots and misses and they say ´did u c that? If that had went in that would have been a goal´ u dont f#ckin say.
16. When football commentators say ´it was a game of 2 halves´ well f#ck me pink. no shit!. DM.

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