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. .lzzzzzzz

Reasons Why It's Great to be a Woman

1. We can get laid anytime we want

2. We never have to buy our own drinks at the bar

3. We piss sitting down so its easier to pass out on the toilet when you're drunk

4. We get out of speeding tickets by crying

5. We get out of speeding tickets by showing a little cleavage or leg

6. We can sleep our way to the top of the class

7. We get to shop at Victoria's Secret

8. We can marry rich and then not have to work

9. We never have to pay when we go out on dates

10. Men take us on all expense paid trips- all we have to do is sleep with them

11. Men light our cigarettes for us

12. Men hold the door open for us

13. We pout better (those puppy dog eyes always work!)

14. We're cuter

15. We lie better

16. We're better manipulators

17. We always end up sleeping in the bed when we fight with our other halves- you guys get the couch

18. We always have food in the fridge

19. We don't worry about losing our hair

20. We always get to choose the movie

21. We dont have to mow the lawn

22. We dont have to take out the garbage

23. We dont have to paint the house or walls

24. PMS- yet another excuse to bitch at men

25. Cosmopolitan

26. We can con our way out of anything - not just dig ourselves deeper into a hole

27. Men unlock our side of the car first- a real bonus when its cold

28. PMS is a legal defense for murder

29. Men are like tiles, lay em right the first time ya can walk all over em forever

30. We can masturbate more in a day than men

31. 2 words- multi orgasmic

32. We dont have to constantly adjust our genitals

33. Sweat is sexy on us

34. We never run out of excuses

35. You guys may get to think about sex 200 times a day, but we could be having it that often

36. Doggie style - that way we get to watch the game too

37. We get expensive jewelery as gifts that we NEVER have to give back

38. We get candy, flowers and jewelery all the time cuz men fuck up so often

39. We can give "the look" that will make any man want to cower in the corner

40. Women are cleaner

41. Women have more than one erogenous zone (in case you guys didnt know)

42. We're better arguers

43. We dont always have to think with our genitals

44. Massage!!!!

45. We're better parents

46. We never have to sit home alone on a weekend night

47. There's never a shortage of ready, willing and able men

48. We're flexible

49. When women get pissed we dont destroy property or hurt people - we just take it out on the world in general because we can

50. Menopause- thank god we're not capable of having children after we're 50

51. Menstruation- just another excuse to use so we can say "no" to sex

52. Men in uniform

53. There is no penis envy

54. We can just roll over and go to sleep after we masturbate because there's no messy clean-up

55. It generally takes us less to get drunk

56. We have a higher tolerance to pain

57. We often get to cut in line

58. Most women actually look good in short shorts- men DONT

59. Better tips

60. Women who dont wear underwear are considered sexy and wild, when men do it, its rather disgusting

61. We have mastered civilized eating - we don't embarass our friends or make loud bodily noises in public

62. Women can go a day without showering or shaving and not look or smell disgusting - thank god for long pants and perfume!

63. We can connive men into doing our homework, writing our papers or carrying our books anytime we want

64. We dont have excessive amounts of body hair

65. We dont spend 45 minutes on the toilet

66. Men will pay us for sex

67. Smoking the seeds in marijuana doesnt make us sterile

68. We can throw a punch at a man and not get hit in return

69. Men may fantasize about having sex with more than one woman at a time, but we can have sex with an entire football team at once if we want

70. Men walk on the side of the sidewalk closest to the road so that if a car hits us, he gets hurt not us

71. Women sweat less

72. Women smell better

73. When women make their boyfriends mad, we don't have to waste money on flowers or cards - a blowjob and sex fixes all

74. Men are more often serial killers, thieves, rapists and cheats

75. Women dont get the humor in the three stooges

76. Women have three accessible holes

77. We don't get embarassed when buying tampons

78. We're better gossips

79. We have better fashion sense

80. We're better shoppers

81. We dont have to make fools out of ourselves to impress a man

82. Our friends dont pick on us if we arent sleeping with anyone

83. Men don't know what our 'girl talk' is all about (and I'm not gonna tell you)

84. We're all sittin on a gold mine- we know it and use it to our extreme advantage

85. We dont have to drive when on a date

86. An ugly woman can use makeup and get a new hairdo to become presentable - ugly men are just fucked

87. Women can use the old "that mark on my neck is from a curling iron burn" line

88. Women know how fake it

89. Women look better naked

90. We know that rhythm doesnt only pertain to dancing

91. When women are short, we're petite, when men are short, they're just short

92. Women do less time for violent crime

93. Women dont have to worry about not being able to get it up

94. An oblong vegetable is all we need for a good time any night

95. Women's conversations generally consist of more than just "uh huh, yep, ok, then bye"

96. Women don't need an excuse to be in a bad mood

97. Women never have to see combat

98. The remote control is not an extension of ourselves

99. Women are sexier

100. We can get laid ANYTIME, ANYWHERE, ANY WAY we want it!

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