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Learning the Hard Way

All I need to know about life, I learned the hard way:
Never trust the r/l dog to watch your pizza when you go potty.

When you want something expensive, act cute and shy.

When you get a bad grade in school, show it to Dommie when she's in a chat room and on the phone at the same time, then destroy the evidence.

When Dommie is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" DON"T ANSWER HER!!!

Don't spit in front of you when riding your bike.

Always wear underpants cuz that's just one more layer Dommie has to yank down to spank your bare butt.

When you flush the toilet when Dommie's in the shower, act dumb "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were in the shower"...then go outside and laugh, but not near the bathroom window!

Never bug Dommie when she's pmsing.

Never smart off at your Dommie when she's holding a paddle (or belt, or hairbrush, wooden spoon, flogger, rice paddle, ruler, rubber hose, rubber chicken, etc).

Never be too full for desert, skip the veggies just to make sure.

Never do pranks in church, cuz the bathroom there is big enough for two with room left for a swinging Dommie hand.

Never tell another SAM (smart ass masochist) that you aren't going to do what your Dommie told you to do.

Don't try to baptise the cats, they are already going straight to hell, no use getting spanked for trying.

Never force Dommie to make an example outa you.

When hiding paddles and haribrushes, make it look like an accident. "I'm not sure how that paddle got under the couch, Ma'am, perhaps you accidently kicked it under there while you were so kind as to apply tiger balm to my blistered butt when you were done with it".

Never laugh when Dommie breaks her favorite paddle across your butt cuz she's got more paddles.

Never cuss behind Dommie's back, cuz the woman has ears everywhere!

Never flip off your friend behind Dommie's back cuz the woman also has eyes in the back of her head.

Never smugly tell Dommie that you know she won't make you ride home in the car with your pants around your ankles all the way from Portland to Salem.

Never cut and paste somethng funny from a chat room to Dommie when you have been grounded from the chat room.

Never disobey Dommie in public thinking you are safe from discipline simply because you are in public.

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