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smiley s - Animated
random.jokes.peperonity.net

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-=JOKES & FUN=-
© 2006-2007
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*Difficult Question*
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

A man is sitting on his front stoop staring morosely at the ground when his neighbour strolls over. The neighbour tries to start a conversation several times, but the older man barely responds. Finally, the neighbour asks what the problem is.

"Well," the man says, "I ran afoul of one of those questions women ask. Now I'm in the doghouse."

"What kind of question?" the neighbour asks.

"My wife asked me if I would still love her when she was old, fat and ugly."

"That's easy," says the neighbour. "You just say, 'Of course I will'".

"Yeah," says the other man, "that's what I meant to say. But what came out was, 'Of course I do.'"

------o0o------

-=(2)=-
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
**Hillary's Visit**
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

Hillary Clinton goes to a primary school in Ithaca, New York to talk about the world.

After her talk she offers question time.
One little boy puts up his hand, and the Senator asks him what his name is.

"Kenneth."
"And what is your question, Kenneth?"
"I have three questions:

First - whatever happened to your medical health care plan?

Second - why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office?

And third - whatever happened to all those things you took when you left the White House?"

Just then the bell rings for recess. Hillary Clinton informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess. When they resume Hillary says, "Okay where were we? Oh, that's right, question time. Who has a question?"

A different little boy puts his hand up; Hillary points him out and asks him what his name is.

"Larry."

"And what is your question?"

"I have five questions:

First - whatever happened to your medical health care plan?

Second - why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office?

Third - whatever happened to all those things you took when you left the White House?

Fourth - why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?

And fifth - what happened to Kenneth?"


------o0o-------


-=(3)=-
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
*Connection To Hell*
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

During his visit to the USSR, Nixon was intrigued by a new telephone capable of connecting with hell. He spoke briefly with the devil, and the call cost him 27 cents. When he came back home, he found out that this same service was now available in the US too. He tried it again and received a bill for $12,000. Nixon was distressed.
- How come?! The same call only cost me 27 cents in the USSR.
- Well, said the operator. Over there it is a local call.


------o0o-------


-=(4)=-
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
*Receiving Mail*
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

Bush (Senior) was in his front yard mowing his grass when little W.came out of
the house and rushed straight to the mailbox. Little W opened it, looked in,
then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house.
As Bush (senior) was getting ready to edge the lawn, looking his son, little
W. came back out to the mailbox, opened it, felt all the way to the back, and
then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by his son actions George (senior) asked him, "Is something wrong
son?"
To which he replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps
saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL."


-----o0o-----


-=(5)=-
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*Liar Sermon*
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

A minister wound up the services one morning by saying, ''Next Sunday I am going to preach on the subject of liars. And in this connection, as a preparation for my discourse, I would like you all to read the seventeenth chapter of Mark''.
On the following Sunday, the preacher rose to begin and said, ''Now, then, all of you who have done as I requested and read the seventeenth chapter of Mark, please raise your hands.''

Nearly every hand in the congregation went up.

Then said the preacher, ''You are the people I want to talk to. There is no seventeenth chapter of Mark.''

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