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smiley s - Animated
random.jokes.peperonity.net

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-=JOKES & FUN=-
(c) 2006-2007
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**Disgracing The Family**
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There was a young virgin that was going out on a date for the first time and she told her grandmother about it.

Her grandmother says, "Sit here and let me tell you about those young boys. He is going to try to kiss you; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that."

She continued, "He is going to try to feel your breast; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that. He is going to try to put his hand between your legs; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that.

Then the grandmother said, "But, most importantly, he is going to try to get on top of you and have his way with you. You are going to like that, but don't let him do that. It will disgrace the family."

With that bit of advice in mind, the granddaughter went on her date and could not wait to tell her grandmother about it. The next day she told her grandmother that her date went just as the old lady said.

She said, "Grandmother, I didn't let him disgrace the family. When he tried, I turned him over, got on top of him and disgraced his family."

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**Cold Hands**
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Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. After bringing in all the luggage, the guy says, "Honey, my hands are freezing!"

She says "Well put them between my legs and I will warm them up."

Later he goes out to catch a few fish for lunch and comes back and says again, "Man! My hands are really freezing!"

She says again, "Well put them between my legs and I'll warm them up." He does, and again that warms him up.

After dinner, he goes out to chop wood for the night. When he returns, he again says,"Honey, my hands are really freezing!"

She (smiles) and says, "Darn Honey, don't your EARS ever get cold?"

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**Friendship**
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Friendship between Women:

A woman didn't come home one night.

The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a girlfriend's house.

The man called his wife's 10 best friends.

None of them knew anything about it.


Friendship between Men:

A man didn't come home one night.

The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a buddy's house.

The woman called her husband's 10 best friends.

Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.

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**Tossing The Coin**
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A blonde reports for her university final exam which consists of mainly true and false questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet: true for heads and false for tails. Within thirty minutes she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still working furiously.

During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is happening.

"I finished the exam in a half hour," she replies. "And as I have more time left, I'm rechecking my answers."

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**Clinton In Heaven's Gate**
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George W. Bush, Clinton, and Gore were all in heaven, and the angel said, "You must cross this river and we will judge how much you have sinned based on how far you sink."
Dubya goes first and gets up to his neck, but makes it across. He looks back and sees Al Gore walking on the water. He appeals to the angel saying, "He's sinned as much as I have, what gives?"

The angel says, "He's standing on Clinton's shoulders"



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