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Jamaican joke box

Jamaican translation

USA: It´s been a long time since i´ve seen u girl.
JAM: Gal, yuh noh dead yet?
USA: Lord, we have lost electricity again.
JAM: Lawd Gad, current lack aff again to rahtid.
USA: This meal is not too bad.
JAM: Di food can eat.
USA: Where did you buy that awful bracelet, Cindy?
JAM: A weh yuh buy dat deh big ole ugly bangle deh missis?
USA: Hors d´oeuvres.
JAM: Ah wah dis likkle sinting you a gi mi?

USA: Here kitty kitty... get down from the roof.
JAM: Hey dutty puss, come aff a di house tap before a buss yuh ... klaat!
USA: I think something is wrong with suzie, she might have the flu.
JAM: Lawd gad, obeah tek up suzie!
USA: Oh my God, just broke mom´s expensive plate.
JAM: Lawd mi gad, mi bruk up mama stoosh crackry, she kill mi now.
USA: Aren´t those pants a bit short?
JAM: You did a expect flood or yuh tek yuh measurement inna wata?
USA: Why are you squeezing the mangoes like that?
JAM: Lissen to me nuh, mi a beg yuh, stap fingle-fingle up di mango dem.
USA: Sir, please don´t throw my luggage like that.
JAM: Aye buff teet bwoy, tap fling-up mi bag dem suh man.
USA: I wish you would quick lying.
JAM: Tap di blinkin lyin, yuh ole liyad.
USA: Lift the hood of the car for me John.
JAM: Hey my yute, fly di bonnet rasta!
USA: I am waiting for a taxi and it´s taking so long.
JAM: But wait, no robot naah run today!
USA: Get me a pop please.
JAM: Beg yuh carry wan drinks fi mi deh.
USA: It´s time for a perm.
JAM: Gal yuh head waan cream, yuh noh si how si how it tough?
USA: Yuk! This is nasty.
JAM: Kiss mi neck back! What a sinting tase bad an incipid.
USA: I wish you would close your mouth.
JAM: Yuh mout come in like when grip caan shut.

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