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SMS Jokes 111-120

111. The govt announced that its changing the national emblem to a CONDOM because it reflects more accurately the govt's stance: A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks and gives you a sense of security while you are actually being screwed!
112. Positive thinking is like this: There is a bird in the sky, you look up and it shits in your eye. But you don't cry, you just thank God that cows don't fly!
113. A true friend is one who sees the first tear in your eye, catches the second one and stops the third. And if the 4th one comes, then slaps you and says: Stop the Drama!
114. MANMOHAN SINGH to BUSH: We are sending Indians to moon. BUSH: How many? SINGH: 100. 35 OBCs, 30 SCs, 25 STs, 5 Handicapped, 2 Kashmiris and if possible 3 Astronauts!
115. Winners are too busy to be sad, too positive to be doubtful, too optimistic to be fearful and too determined to be defeated!
116. When it comes to cars, its tough to drive a bargain. The best advice any motorist can follow is to drive right so more pedestrians will be left!
117, A MAN'S LIFE:: Before marriage-Spiderman. After finding a girl-Superman. After engagement-Gentleman. After-Watchman!
118. Yesterday 7 angels asked me about the most intelligent man on earth. And I gave them your address. Dekha unko kaise ulloo banaya!
119. A mother makes her son INTELLIGENT in 20 years. But a girl makes him stupid in 2 minutes!
120. Love is like a war - easy to start, difficult to end and impossible to forget. So I am having a war with you, I hope you don't want peace!

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