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♥SantaBanta Sms♥

W e l C o m e

<1>An Englishman and Banta inside the toilet.
Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Banta: Gud evening, we open the zip and do.
====
<2>Banta: Kal Muje 10 logo ne Peeta.
Santa: Phir tune kya kiya?
Banta: Maine kaha salon ek-ek karke aao.
Santa: Phir?
Banta: Phir kya, Salon ne ek-ek karke dubara Peeta !
====
<3>Pappu: Ajj madam ne 1 swaal puchhya jisda jawab sirf mainu hi pata si.
Santa: Mera biba beta, ki swaal si?
Pappu: Swaal si k blackboard kol susu kine kita hai?
====
<4>Inspector to Banta: Faansi se pehle, bata teri antim ichha kya hai?
Banta: Mere pair upar aur sir neeche kar k faansi de do..!
====
<5>Amli: Doctar ji tuhanu tankay lagonay aunde hun?
Dr: Haan ji, daso kithay lagonay ne?
Amli: Aa lo ji chapal te la do...!
====
<6>Pappu: Dad, main itna jawan kab banunga k main mummy ko bina bataye ghar se bahar ja sakoon.
Santa: Beta, itna jawan to aaj tak main bhi nahi hua...
====
<7>Santa bought a car on loan... He didn't pay the dues, the bank took away his car.
Santa: If I knew this, I'd have taken a loan for my marriage also!
====
<8>Banta mujra dekhne gaya, sari raat mujra dekha.
Bai ne kaha: Sahab humne aap ko khush kiya, ab aap hume khush karo.
Banta utha or khud nachne laga.. Gud Night.
====
<9>Santa: Rab j tu mainu 100 rs deve ta 50 main Guru Ghar devanga. Thodi dur ja k usnu 50 rs lab gaye.
Santa: Wah rabba ena v Bhrosa ni, apne pehle hi kat laye...
====
<10>Bante de ghar buddi mar gayi. Saare kehan lagge: Bebe mainu lai jaandi! Mainu lai jaandi!
Banta vichon uthh ke kehenda: Saaleo! Bebe ne SUMO kiti hoi si ki?
====
<11> Banta k ghar ladka hua, par wo phir bhi dukhi tha?? Kyon?
Itne saalo baad, itni manato k baad ladka hua wo bhi chhota sa...!
====
<12>Teacher: Aisi kisi jagah ka naam batao jise banaya to aadmi ne hai par fir bhi wo wahan par ja nahi sakta? Papu: LADIES TOILET!
====
<13>Banta was driving his car in a zigzag fashion on d road. Traffic inspector stopped him.
Banta: I'm learning car driving.
Inspector: Without d instructor?
Banta: Correspondence Course!
====
<14>Jeeto: Ek baat batani hai, par plz muje marna nahi.
Santa: Bolo.
Jeeto: Mein Pregnant hu!
Santa: It's a gud News.
Jeeto: Shadi k pahle pitaji ko bataya to bahut maar padi thi.
====
<15>Banta: What's the similarity between Marriage and 11:59pm?
Santa: Dono k baad 12-bajte hain aur din badal jate hain.
====
<16>Teacher: Asman me udne wali chiz ande deti hai, jamin pe rahne wali bache deti hai. Kaun hai jo Asman me udti hai par bachche jamin par deti he?
Santa: Airhostess!
====
<17>Santa: Dr. saab, I'm suffering from loose motion.
Doc: Kinni ku patli aundi hai?
Santa: Dr. saab, samaj lao ke tusi us naal Grare kar sakde ho !
====
<18>Banta: Life ko kaun zyada achhaa bana sakti hai, Girlfriend ya Wife?
Santa: WIFE. Bas, honi kisi aur ki chahiye!
====
<19>Santa ne PCO pe jate hi PCO wale ko 2 thappad laga diye. Socho kyon?
Because PCO ke bahar likha tha, dial karne se pahle 2 lagaye...
====
<20>The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.
She called on him and said, "Pappu! What are 4, 2, 28 and 44?"
Little Johnny quickly replied, "Cartoon Network, Ten Sports, Discovery Channel and Pogo!"
====
<21>Teacher: Aasmaan mein udne wali chiz Ande deti hai, Aur zameen pe rahne wali Bachche deti hai. Kaun c chiz aisse hai jo Aasmaan me udti hai par Bache Zameen par deti hai?
Santa: Airhostess !
====
<22>Teacher: Light Kitho Aandi Hai?
Pappu: Mere Nankeya De Gharon.
Teacher: Kinwe?
Pppu: Jado Light Jandi Hai Papa Kehndy ne ‘Saleya ne Pher cut ti.
====
<23>Santa: What’s the name of ur car?
Banta: I don’t know but it starts with "T"
Santa: Kamal hai yaar teri gaddi tea nal start hundi hai, apni te Petrol nal start hundi hai.
====
<24>Santa, Banta & Bobby were going on a motorcycle. Policeman gives hand to stop.
Santa shouted: Oye pagal, pehle hi 3 bethe hain tu kahan baithega?
====
<25>Jeeto: Doctor ne mujhe ek mahine ka aaram aur kisi Hill station par jaane ko kaha hai, hum kaha jayenge?
Santa: Kisi Dusrey Doctor ke paas!!!
====
<26>Teacher: U call ur mother as MUM... what’ll u call ur mother's younger sister & elder sister?
Santa’s son: Mini Mum & Maxi Mum!
====
<27>Samundar de kande baithe han, Kadi tan lehar aaogi,
Kismat badle na badle, CHAPPAL TAN DHOTI JAUGI, So always think positive.
====
<28>Santa's father gave him a gun on wedding night & said: Fire in air if ur wife is virgin, shoot her if not.
Santa fired in air 1st night & shot her 2nd night.
====
<29>Santa went to international cooking contest. When judges came to him, he was moving spoon in empty kadhai.
Judge asked: Kya bana rahe ho?
Santa: FUDDU…
====
<30>Boss: I’m giving u driver’s job. Starting salary Rs. 3000, is it OK ?
Santa: U R great sir! Starting salary is Ok but how much is DRIVING salary?
====
<31>Santa & Banta were looking at Egyptian mummy.
Santa: Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case. Banta: Aaho, lorry number is also written... BC 1760 !!!.
====
<32>Banta: What do you call a wife who is beautiful, intelligent, understanding, caring, never jealous and a great cook?
Santa: Niri Afwah !!!
====
<33>Santa to wife: Did u hav any boy friend before marriage?
Wife remain silent.
Santa: Main is khamoshi ko kya samjhu?
Wife: Bewakoof ginan tan de.
====
<34>Santa Radio lekar POTTY karne gaya.
Banta: Aaj toh mazey se ki hogi ?
Santa: Khaak mazey se ki, radio par Jan-Gan-Man aa gaya, khade-khade karni padi.
====
<35>Santa eats 8 Butter Naan at a party and is suffering from Constipation.
Praying & crying in Toilet: Hey Wahe Guru...Ya toh JAAN nikal de, ya NAAN nikal de.
====
<36>Santa went to a museum where he broke a statue.
Officer: U have broken a 5000 years old statue.
Santa: Thank God, mainu lagga nava si…
====
<37>Santa gets a Cheque & throws it on the ground. Can you Guess why?
To see whether it’ll BOUNCE or not!
====
<38>Santa: Mein Shimla ja raha hoon, jate hue raaste mein biwi ko khai mein dhaka de doonga.
Banta: Yaar meri bi le ja, use bhi dhaka de dena.
Santa: Theek hai, agar tu bura na maane use vaapsi pe dhaka de doon?
====
<39>Banta was traveling in an auto rickshaw with his wife. The driver adjusted the mirror.
Banta shouted: U r trying to see my wife, sit back, I'll drive!
====
<40>Santa looked in the mirror & said: Seems I've seen him sumwhere.
Then he says: Oh yes! He's the same bastard who was standing next to my wife in my wedding album.
====
<41>Santa & Banta were looking at Egyptian mummy.
Santa: Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case. Banta: Aaho, lorry number is also written... BC 1760 !!!.
====
<42>Banta: What do you call a wife who is beautiful, intelligent, understanding, caring, never jealous and a great cook?
Santa: Niri Afwah !!!
====
<43>Santa to wife: Did u hav any boy friend before marriage?
Wife remain silent.
Santa: Main is khamoshi ko kya samjhu?
Wife: Bewakoof ginan tan de. ====
<44>Santa Radio lekar POTTY karne gaya.
Banta: Aaj toh mazey se ki hogi ?
Santa: Khaak mazey se ki, radio par Jan-Gan-Man aa gaya, khade-khade karni padi.
====
<45>Santa eats 8 Butter Naan at a party and is suffering from Constipation.
Praying & crying in Toilet: Hey Wahe Guru...Ya toh JAAN nikal de, ya NAAN nikal de.
====
<46>Santa went to a museum where he broke a statue.
Officer: U have broken a 5000 years old statue.
Santa: Thank God, mainu lagga nava si…
====
<47>?Santa gets a Cheque & throws it on the ground. Can you Guess why?
To see whether it’ll BOUNCE or not!
====
<48>Santa: Mein Shimla ja raha hoon, jate hue raaste mein biwi ko khai mein dhaka de doonga.
Banta: Yaar meri bi le ja, use bhi dhaka de dena.
Santa: Theek hai, agar tu bura na maane use vaapsi pe dhaka de doon?
====
<49>Banta was traveling in an auto rickshaw with his wife. The driver adjusted the mirror.
Banta shouted: U r trying to see my wife, sit back, I'll drive!
====
<50>Santa looked in the mirror & said: Seems I've seen him sumwhere.
Then he says: Oh yes! He's the same bastard who was standing next to my wife in my wedding album.
====


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