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relate W I S E L Y

We All Have People We'd like In Our Lives Forever, But How Can We Be Sure Those Relationships Will Survive The Ups And Downs?

Most of us are lucky enough to have people we want to grow old with or always have in our lives. Our partners, probably. Our parents, hopefully. Our brothers and sisters, almost certainly. And, if we're lucky, our best friends.

But no matter how much you love someone, you can't take it for granted that the relationship between you will survive. Things change (you do, they do, circumstances do) and it's easy to end up losing touch or falling out with people.. and regretting it.

Relationships, like people, are not fixed. They can change for the better, and unfortunately sometimes they get worse. But it's this that gives a relationship its richness and depth. It's what should make it worth fighting for.

We find it easier to be around people whose lives are similar to our own, whether professionally or domestically. If something changes, say your sister divorces when you are married, or your best friend falls pregnant when you have no children, for example, it can be uncomfortable. To keep that person in your life, your are going to have to work a bit harder.
Or sometimes something happens that's nobody's fault, but which totally changes the dynamic between you, like your partner losing his job, or you becoming seriously ill. In a situation like that, nobody has done anything wrong, but you can feel powerless and start looking to blame someone. Hard as is might be, the only thing you can do is support each other.

It can be tempting to hark back to a 'golden age' when the relationship seemed better - but don't. Understand how things are now. In the same way, don't imagine your relationship will improve when you lose weight, have a baby or save up more money. Accept you can't change people or situations, you can only change the way you respond to them.

Jealousy is made up of...

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