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Emails ambushed

The MoPilot mail service was temporarily out of order last night after someone shot the Messenger. Virtual carrier pigeons were quickly brought in as temporary replacements. Some messages have been delayed but subscriptions to email pornography is said to be unaffected.

Police are investigating but have no clues as to who the perpetrator may have been. Witnesses say they saw a monkey leaving the crime scene at high speed in a stolen hovercraft, but a constabulary spokesman said this did not sufficiently narrow down the list of suspects.

This is the latest in a series of brutal attacks. Last month the Easter bunny on the main screen was badly mutilated when it was hit by a rocket propelled grenade. Casualty statistics have now risen to three and a half, although the demise of the Deutschmark may be attributed to external influences.

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