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An 85 yr old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said "Take this jar home and bring back a sample of semen tomorrow."
The next day the 85 yr old man appeared at the doctors office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explained,
"Well doc its like this . . first i tried with my right hand but nothing. Then i tried with my left hand but still nothing.
Then i asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand then with her left, still nothing.
She tried with her mouth, first with her teeth in then with her teeth out,still nothing."
The doctor is amazed but the old man is not finished.
"We even called up Arlene the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands,then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin it between her knees, but still nothing."
The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbour?"
The old man replied
"Yes, none of us could get the jar open!"

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