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Laugh out Loud

Van in Paris
Van goes to the top house of ill repute in Paris. He goes up to the Madam and asks,.. "I want your best girl !!". The Madam then calls her top girl, and the two of them go upstairs. Two minutes later the girl comes down the stairs screaming, "Nevair ! nevair ! 'ow can you ask me zat ?" The Madam is absolutely astounded, as that this has never happened before, but never the less she sends up her second best girl. Two minutes later the girl also comes down the stairs screaming,
"Nevair ! nevair ! 'ow can you ask me zat ?" The Madam is now intensely curious, since she has experienced everything and is totally unshockable, she then decides that SHE must
go upstairs and service this client herself. Two minutes later the Madam also comes down the stairs screaming, "Nevair ! nevair ! 'ow can you ask me zat ?" Some guys sitting at the bar and ask her what the hell was going on.

She replies, " 'e vants to pay me in Rands !!!"

Mandela Visit

President Mandela goes on an official state visit to a small country
in the middle of Africa. At the airport he is met by this country's
Minister of Harbours. All of a sudden Mr. Mandela realizes that this
is absurd, this country has no harbours as it is landlocked! He is
very puzzled and decides to find out what the story is.

At the official state banquet later that evening, he leans over to the
President and asks, "Mr. President, why do you have a Minister of
Harbours when you don't have any harbours?"

The President looks Mr. Mandela straight in the eye and says, "Well
you know that may be true Mr. Mandela, but I was just as puzzled at
why you have a Minister of Law and Order?"


One day a teacher had a taste test with her students. She picked a little
boy to do the first test. She blindfolded him, put a Hershey kiss in his
mouth and asked,
"Do you know what it is?"
"No, I don't," said the little boy.
"Okay, I'll give you a clue. It's the thing your daddy wants from your Mom
before he goes to work."
That's when a little girl at the back of the room yelled,
"Spit it out! It's a piece of ass!!"
** Shibu **


Three guys and a lady were sitting at the bar talking about their professions.

The first guy says " I'm a Y.U.P.P.I.E, you know... Young, Urban, Professional, Peaceful, Intelligent, Ecologist."

The second guy says "I'm a D.I.N.K, you know... Double Income, No Kids."

The third guy says, " I'm a R.U.B, you know... Rich, Urban, Biker."

They turn to the woman and ask her, " What are you? "

She replies: " I'm a WIFE, you know...
Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc."

3 Proud Parents
3 men were gathering one day to talk about how successful there sons were doing.

The first man says, "My son has been doing so successful as a lawyer he got a mansion and shares it with his friend."

The second mans says, "My son has been so successful as a doctor that he bought a converatable and a private jet for his friend."

The third man says, "Well, my son hasn't been so "successful". In fact, I just learned he was gay and I've accepted that fact. I guess he must be doing good though because he lives in a mansion with his friend and owns a private jet and a convertable."

10 fruits.
3 explorers were looking in the forest when they were captured by Indians. They were taken to their chief, and he said go out into the forest and come back with 10 of the same kind of fruits. The first guy comes back with 10 bannanas, and the chief says, shove them all up your butt without making a sound.
So the 1st guy gets 2 bannanas in when he starts screaming, so the indians kill him. The second guy comes back with 10 berries, and they shove 9 in and are about to shove the 10th in when he starts laughing, and so since he made a sound the indians killed him too.
Now the first two explorers souls fly out of their bodies and into heaven and they start talking. The first explorer says 'Hey dude why did you laugh you could've gone back and told out families what had happened'.
The 2nd explorer replies, 'Sorry I just couldn't stop when I saw fred comin down the hill with 10 pinneapples.

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