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Wresŧlємαñ¡α 26 Resülts³

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(Now that the show is over, we'll start with the quick & dirty results:)
1.Yoshi Tatsu won a 26 man battle royal in the dark match
2.WWE Unified Tag Team Champions ShoMiz (The Big Show & The Miz) defeated R-Truth & John Morrison to retain their titles when Show pinned Morrison
3.Randy Orton defeated Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes in a triple threat match when he pinned DiBiase
4.Jack Swagger won the Money In The Bank ladder match
5.Triple H defeated Sheamus
6.Rey Mysterio defeated CM Punk, so Mysterio does not have to join the Straight Edge Society
7.Bret Hart defeated Vince McMahon in a no holds barred match (Vince made it a lumberjack match, claimed to have paid off Bret's family, and brought out the Hart Dynasty and all of Bret's surviving siblings as the lumberjacks. Bret revealed that they told him and agreed so Vince would pay them in advance.)
8.World Heavyweight Champion Chris Jericho defeated Edge to retain his title (After the match, Edge speared Jericho off the announcers' tables through the barricade)
9.Alicia Fox, Vickie Guerrero, Michelle McCool, Layla, & Maryse defeated Beth Phoenix, Eve Torres, Gail Kim, Kelly Kelly, & Mickie James when Guerrero pinned Kelly
10.John Cena defeated WWE Champion Batista by submission with the STF to win the title
11.The Undertaker defeated Shawn Michaels after a jumping tombstone piledriver to retire him
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1. 26 Man Battle Royal (Dark match before the live PPV broadcast)
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This is getting underway now. The participants are Mark Henry, JTG, Shad, Goldust, Yoshi Tatsu, Primo, Carlito, Funaki (When was the last time he worked?, Jimmy Wang Yang, Chris Masters, Finlay, Luke Gallows, William Regal, Slam Master J, Tyler Reks, Vance Archer, Caylen Croft, Trent Baretta, Mike Knox, Zak Ryder, Koslov, Santino, Vance Archer, Tyler Reks, and two others that Bill couldn't make out. The NXT rookies are watching from the ramp.
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Yoshi Tatsu of all people eliminated Zack Ryder to win in a fun much.
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Funaki's last match was in September, a dark match. Need to check further back for last TV match.
Last Funaki TV match was a MITB qualifier battle royal on Smackdown a year ago.
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Fighter planes fly over the open roof and here's Fantasia to sing "America The Beautiful"
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Hugo and Carlos are out to do commentary, and you know what that means. Stadium looks amazing, with an incredible entrance set covered in screens, natural light from the roof opening, and a cool ring cover w/ huge screen.
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2. WWE Unified Tag Team Championship: ShoMiz (The Big Show and The Miz) (c) vs John Morrison and R-Truth
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Tag title match opens the show. "Wrestlemania, WHAT'S UP?"
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Cole/Lawler/Striker hosting.
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Very short match. ShoMiz retained when Miz blind tagged Show, who hit Morrison with the giant KO punch when he went for Flying Chuck.
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Wrestlemania Week video now including Axxess footage and whatnot.
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3. Triple Threat Match: Randy Orton vs Cody Rhodes vs Ted DiBiase
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Ted out first for this match. Let's see if there's any heat for this thing.
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Orton got a nice pop. Not huge, but the fans like him.
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Ted and Cody are actually getting heat on Orton. Should be an easy crowd.
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Turned into a good match with good heat. Kicked into gear after Legacy started fighting each other. Orton won with a punt and RKO on DiBiase.
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Vickie interview with her team gets interrupted by a singing Jillian, who is joined by Santino shilling Slim Jims. He snaps into it to turn her into Mae Young, who kisses him, then Gene Okerlund, and then Melina, all in the same strapless black dress. Okay.
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4. Money in the Bank Ladder Match: Christian vs Dolph Ziggler vs Kane vs. Shelton Benjamin vs Jack Swagger vs Montel Vontavious Porter vs Matt Hardy vs Evan Bourne vs Drew McIntyre vs Kofi Kingston
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This will be fun.
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Swagger of all people won in a BIG surprise after taking forever to unhook the briefcase. Lots of innovative spots, including Kofi using a ladder that Kane broke in half at the hinges as stilts.
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HOF video and procession now. DiBiase got easily the biggest pop with Bret not out there for obvious reasons.
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Bill pointed out that Swagger had promised to cash in tonight if he won.
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5. Triple H vs Sheamus
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Video package on now. AWESOME helicopter shot of the stadium.
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Great entrance for HHH w/ lasers and a barrel-shaped video screen lowered to the ring (it was also used for Orton's post-match celebration).
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Uh oh, Cole said "Ric Flair" when HHH used the figure four.
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And now Sheamus gets heat on HHH.
Picked up with the finishing stretch, but not the classic Lawler said it was. HHH won w/ the Pedigree out of nowhere. Well, that was pointless.
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6. If Mysterio Loses, He Must Join The Straight Edge Society: Rey Mysterio vs CM Punk
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This should be awesome. Punk (w/ Luke & Serena) cut a promo on his way to the ring. Rey's annual superhero outfit is a blue dude from Avatar. It's odd looking.
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Rey wins a good match that was too short (albeit not nearly as short as the opener), so he doesn't have to join the LWO Straight Edge Society. Looks like they wanted to make sure to have a lot of time available for the top 4 matches and women's cool-down match.
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7. No Holds Barred: Bret Hart vs Vince McMahon
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Video package on now. What will the big surprise be?
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Bret out first. Vince cuts a promo from the ramp about how Vince deserves to be screwed tonight. It's a lumberjack match with one of them as guest ref...the Hart siblings and Hart Dynasty were bought off to be lumberjacks.
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Bruce is ref. But then Bret cut a promo and the Harts didn't turn: They took Vince's money and sided w/ Bret. Here we go!
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Dynasty beat the hell out of Vince including a top rope Hart Attack. Bret gets some shots, Vince tries to crawl under the ring, gets tire iron, goes back in, gets beaten up by Bret again. Including w/ the tire iron.
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Nut shot, nut shot, did Bruce lay out the match? DH sends in a chair. Bret sits down in it.
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Bret beats the hell out of Vince with the chair a la Austin-Rock in 2001. Sharpshooter, Bret wins. Vince got no offense Depressingly bad match. I'm going to guess that the Lloyds of London issues meant that Bret couldn't get hit or even get put in holds. If this is what it had to be, they should have made it quick, but it was long and depressing. Sad ending to a good program.
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72, 219 is the announced attendance.
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8. World Heavyweight Championship: Chris Jericho (c) vs Edge
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They've been building up to a specific finish here, so let's see if that happens and if Swagger cashes in his shot after.
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With the undercard aside from MITB and the 3-way being rushed, the top 3 matches better deliver.
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No heat until Jericho put the Walls on just now.
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Jericho tries spear, gets booted. Edge sets up spear, eats Codebreaker for nearfall.
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Jericho uses half crab to work foot but Edge gets to ropes. Both guys spill to the floor.
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Beltshot behind ref's back gets a nearfall for Jericho, and then the Codebreaker gets the pin. Huh.
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Jericho tries to further injure Edge's foot but he fights back. The get on the announcers' desks and Edge spears Jericho off them through the barricade. Cool spot, but too late, as that was a nothing match. They had less than zero chemistry.
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9. Ten Woman Tag Team Match: Alicia Fox, Vickie Guerrero, Michelle McCool, Layla, & Maryse vs Beth Phoenix, Eve Torres, Gail Kim, Kelly Kelly, & Mickie James
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Heatkiller on now? Did they think Jericho-Edge was gonna tear the house down?
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